Loose Ends

Whenever I finish something that I've started, I always feel really good about myself. I feel accomplished. I feel productive.

On the flip-side of that, whenever I have things that are left undone, I feel like a have this thing hanging over me and staring me in the face. I have to finish it. I have to be done. I can't stand loose ends.

Well, last night I finally finished the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. As I laid in bed trying to go to sleep, I felt accomplished and productive. I felt like I'd done something good and deserved a pat on the back, even if it was just from myself. Then I rolled over and looked at my bookshelves full of books that I've started and never finished, or purchased and never looked at after my credit card was swiped. Now I know what I'll be doing this summer!

Source

I definitely recommend Linda's book to - well anyone. It is scripture based and it thoroughly covers so many of the insecurities and questions that we, as women tend to face almost daily. There is also a 12-week study guide in the back and I'm praying through whether or not I should put together some sort of book study to cover this material. It was so full of truth and overall, it was encouraging. So many times I find myself reading books like that and either realizing that they're not rooted in the Word or concluding that I feel more discouraged after I've finished reading.

Now onto a section of this post that I'd like to title: Please Pray for Jessica

Yesterday was a big day for me. It was an ordinary day, but it carried a lot of underlying things that are pretty big and tied up a lot of loose ends.

First, yesterday marked four months until Jason and I get married. When I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:00 p.m. (which is the time that our ceremony will start), I wanted to get up and dance. Lucky for everyone in my wing at work, I did not.

Second, Jason and I (well, mostly I) were able to get everything prepared with our new washer and dryer. Since we bought them used, they needed to be cleaned up and we're actually selling the pedestals that they came with (if you're in the market for front loading washer and dryer pedestals, hit me up). I spent some time last night with Clorox in hand spraying down every inch of those suckers. They are now Jessica-sized (thanks to Jason and his mad un-bolting skills) and they are clean! Loose end tied.

As you can tell, I'm excited about hooking these puppies up. It's the first big purchase that Jason and I have made together, so I think it's fair that I'm this excited, right?

Next, I went to a general practitioner for the first time since I last saw my pediatrician (so roughly 5 years). Jason got his name from a friend of ours (thanks Lacey) and he went to see him last summer when he was struggling with his milk allergy. The doctor was wonderful and spent lots of time with Jason walking him through what steps they'd need to take for him to get better in time for the Fall tour. I read a lot of reviews about him online, and every single review said the same thing - he spends as much time as you  need in the room with you and he doesn't rush through the exam. I figured that establishing a family doctor in Birmingham was somewhat of another loose end that needed to be taken care of.

Well, he definitely lived up to his reputation. I really just wanted to get established with a doctor here, but I also haven't talked to a doctor about my insulin resistance since I was 17 or 18-years-old. A lot has changed since then in my life, my surroundings, and in my body.

He talked to me for a while and then he said that they were going to do some blood work. He asked me some questions about things that are symptoms of diabetes. I'd told him that I was getting married in September and he told me that it's really good that I came in because many of the things I had questions about, if left untreated, could lead to infertility down the road. Obviously, Jason and I are planning on adopting at least once in our lives, so infertility doesn't scare me as much as some, but I still don't want to have to deal with it. I'd like to be able to have biological kids too.

Then came the biggie - he put me on a diet plan. I wasn't offended or worried like I probably would have been a couple of yeas ago. I wanted him to do that. I wanted to know if I'm doing the right things, if I'm doing things wrong, and if I'm doing things that will be effective in creating a healthier lifestyle for myself.

As it turns out, I'm definitively on the right path. He told me to be exercising consistently and to aim to eat about 1,200 calories a day. He said that due to the insulin resistance, he's going to put me on a low carb/low fat diet. I'm allowed 120 grams of carbohydrates per day and about 32 grams of fat per day.

I plugged all of this new information into the myfitnesspal.com app that I have on my iPhone and went to get my blood work done.

Here's where I'm asking for prayer: my blood work.

I've had blood work done tons of times, but this is really the first time I've been worried about it. I'm 23-years-old and so far I haven't been able to lose weight eating a normal healthy diet and exercising pretty consistently. I have a history of diabetes in my family and I am at a higher risk for it because of the insulin resistance. I'm praying that my blood work has answers but that the results don't contain something wrong with me (aka diabetes). Please pray for self-control and determination with eating according to the doctor's rules as well as consistency in my exercising routine. Overall, pray that I would not forget for a second that God is in control regardless of my circumstances and this is a battle that he's already won.

Thank you all so much in advance for your prayers. Stay tuned for more about the diet plan and the results of my  blood work.

Let me quit rambling so that we can all turn to our Savior in prayer today.