#phenomenon

To answer the question all of you are simultaneously asking right now, yes, yes you do pronounce the "#" in this title...and it's pronounced "hashtag".

This is an ode to the love/hate relationship that we all have with this ambiguous symbol we've come to know as the "hashtag".

A little personal history.

I was born in 1989. So that means that this, #, has been known to me as the "number sign" and the "pound key" before anyone that I knew began calling it a "hashtag". I use it when I call to check my balance on a store gift card ("Please enter the 450 digit number and then press the pound key"). I used to use it when I numbered things in school, or let's be honest, when I passed a note in class. I use it each and every day to get into my apartment. Some even still call it the "tick-tack-toe game board" (I don't actually know if that's a thing, but if it's not, it should be). I certainly cannot wrap my mind around how one little tiny symbol can have so many meanings and evoke so many emotions.

I, for one, am considering just making "hashtag" the universal name for this, "#". From now on, if you're coming to see me or the mister, you may call me and I'll tell you to dial "hashtag, one, two, three, four" to get into our neighborhood (Note: All of these numbers have been changed for privacy, but actually, that probably is someone's gate code).

Now that we're all on the same page here and we're all calling this, "#", a "hashtag", let me tell you a little story about my first hashtag. It's quite sentimental. Seriously, get your tissues ready people.

I reluctantly joined the Twittersphere in January of 2011. I was the person behind all of the Children's Homes social media, therefore I figured I should probably step up my game and create a Twitter account of my own. But, that's not the beginning of my hashtagging history. It actually took me almost 20 tweets to reach my first hashtag. And what was this memorable hashtag? Well, I didn't actually remember, so earlier today I scrolled back through my 2,171 tweets and found out that it was this...(drumroll please): #bittersweet.

It actually is kind of sentimental, even though I said that being 100% sarcastic earlier.

Also, don't let that tweet fool you...I still buy school supplies. Every semester I choose a class from the list at Walmart and I buy myself a little something special. This year, I was a first grader in Mrs. Darnell's class. Just kidding, I totally made all of that up. Not a bad idea though...I may have created a new tradition.

When I began my planning for this post, I was going to give you the actual history and origin of the hashtag. Buuuuuut... then I decided that would be super borning and no one actually cares. Instead, I'm going to give you some life lessons for your hashtags to live by.

Here we go. Buckle up.

Jessica's Life Lessons for your Hashtags to Live By:

1. Keep your hashtags witty and/or relevant. Don't hashtag just for hashtagging's sake. If you're tweeting about a show you're watching and a not-so-subtle hashtag pops up in the corner of the screen, use it. But don't say, something like "I'm watching The Bachelorette tonight and bachelor #3 is lookin' fine #youlookawesomebachelor3pleasemarryme." Don't do that. Just make your hashtag "thebachelorette". It's obvious and relevant. And also, don't tweet about how fine the bachelors on that show are. Their egos are already way too big.

2. You don't have to hashtag everything in sight. If you're tweeting or instagramming a photo (yes, I just made "instagramming" a verb), don't hashtag everything that the light touches (and yes, that's a Lion King reference). If you're tweeting a pic from a Braves game, seriously, don't hashtag every detail. #braves #baseball #summernight #jumbotron #chickfila #cow #chop #thisishowwechop #hotdog #chair #dugout #cleats #bat - NOT NESSEARY. For the love of all that is good in the social media universe, please don't do that!! You think I'm joking, but I have seen people do it before.

 

Exhibit A(wful):

I sincerely apologize if any of these hashtags are offensive.
I don't know what some of them mean, and with a Bob Marley quote...well...you just never know.

Exhibit B(ewildering):

Everyone's dream pets: a cat and a ferret. I
promise they'll love you like a puppy would.

3. Limit your hastags to about two, maybe three per post. Think of two really strong, relevant, or witty hashtags. Stick with those. Quality > Quantity my friend.
4. Don't string more than a few words together in a single hashtag. Don't think that you can try to sneak around rule number three by stringing 10 words together.If I have to take a screenshot of your tweet or Instagram photo, go to my Camera Roll, then zoom in, all in order to read your hashtag, it's too long. Break it up. You'll be better for it. 

#donotstringabunchofwordstogetheritisnoteffectiveipromiseyouthatmuchistrue

5. Don't speak in hashtags. It's really just tacky. Unless you're transcribing what someone else said, or maybe quoting something someone said, don't say the word "hashtag" followed by a phrase, even it if is witty and/or relevant. People will look at you strange, and no one wants that. If I had it my way, we'd all carry around Pinterest-y chalkboards and anytime we thought of a hashtag that we wanted to verbally share, we'd just write it out, hold it up, and move on. Just promise me that you won't be like Kasey from the Bachelorette when he got out of the limo. If you're not sure what I'm talking about...go watch it (first episode of this season). You'll cringe. It's rough. Poor guy. No one told him the rules.

So there they are...the rules of this hashtag phenomenon...or at least my rules. As in any high stakes competition, remember to play by the rules and keep it classy. That's all I've got for today, friends.

(Note: This blog post was brought to you by way too much caffine)

Getting Things in Order

I started blogging consistently a little less than a year ago. My blogging journey started when I decided to participate in a week-long cleanse before I went wedding dress shopping. I blogged about the cleanse, my battle that I've always had with my weight vs. self-esteem, the changes that I've made in my diet and exercise over the years, and finally, my decision to bring a doctor into the mix.

Wedding dress shopping...post-cleanse.

After about 6 months of blogging about this topic (among others), I've had some difficulty writing this blog. I sit down to write, and I think about what's going on in my life. Things have settled down some for Jason and me as far as traveling and big life changes. I like writing about marriage and being a newlywed and the emotions/hurdles/joys that brings, but I don't want this to be a blog that is solely about that. When I think about my life, the constant struggle that I have is my weight and self-esteem. But yet, I haven't been able to bring myself to write about it since October. So, as of today, I'm going back to where this blog began and I'm going to give you an update.

As always, I don't write this just so people know what's going on with my life. I write this in hopes that someone who reads this might take comfort in identifying with me, find hope in the truth that we are all God's creation no matter our struggles, and maybe even take steps to identify the source of their frustration/worries/hardship.

Before I update you, if you haven't read about my journey to find answers, take a look at this blog post.

Right before Thanksgiving, I went back to my doctor to have some follow-up blood work done. After Thanksgiving, Jason accompanied me to the doctor to hear the results. When I was 16, I was diagnosed with insulin resistance and PCOS (to find out about what in the world that means, click here). After high school, I didn't really pursue any treatment for it, but I've always just aimed to eat a low carb/high protein diet and exercise. I knew that losing weight would be an uphill battle for me. In college, things were kind of up and down when it came to my weight and self-esteem (read more about my battle here). Then, post college, working a sedentary job, being on a budget, and falling victim to lots and lots of life changes has put me at the highest weight, most out of shape, and lowest self-esteem I've ever experienced.

My feelings x 100

Now, for the results. My doctor informed me that my insulin levels had spiked. They were definitely in the high range, but I'm not diabetic (yet). He said that my results were consistent with insulin resistance and PCOS. He put me on an appetite suppressant for 3-6 months, told me to follow the nutrition rules he gave me over the summer, and increase my exercise. After 6 months, he is planning on putting me on a medication that will help keep my insulin levels down.

Honestly, I was satisfied with those results. I'd been praying that I would get some sort of answer, but that nothing HORRIBLE would be wrong with me. This, was definitely a manageable result and all in all an answered prayer.

Month One: December went pretty well. Although we were crazy busy, I managed to lose about 5-6 pounds. I was down 8 pounds, but then Christmas happened. My doctor told me at my one month check-in that he was happy with how things were going. Me, being the crazy over-achiever that I am, didn't think I'd done enough though.

Month Two: January was weird. About a week into January, I went to another doctor who I've been seeing for about 5 years. She got onto me about my weight and challenged me to get back into running and aim for 150 minutes of medium-high intensity exercise a week. My month two check-in was yesterday, and my doctor wasn't super stoked about my results. I got about 1-2 pounds off, but we all know I can do a lot better. We talked about my goals and I clearly realized something: I've got to work harder.

Eating pretty healthy doesn't cut it right now. Exercising when I have time or when I feel like it is not enough. I've got to eat really good. I've got to get out and sweat. I can't make compromises or talk myself out of this thing. I can't settle. This is no longer just a physical desire to look better or be skinnier - this is a health issue and it's about time that I start acting like it.

Obviously, I have some ideas of what I'm going to do to work harder in mind. I completed day one of week two of the Couch to 5K running plan last night. Talk about humbling. I used to be able to run at least a mile and a half without having to walk...even if I hadn't run in a while. Now, after about a minute, everything hurts. But, I'm not going to let that stop me. I'm determined to accomplish this and not quit. I also want to do some sort of weight training 1-2 days a week in addition to my running plan. If you have ideas, let me know. I also am cutting back on my sugars. I usually just look at the carbs that I'm taking in, but I haven't ever paid enough attention to the amount of sugar that foods have. Time to start. My goal is to not eat any refined carb/sugar after lunch, and any carbs/sugars that I do eat need to be whole grain or natural (coming either from dairy or fruit).

Will someone people buy this in mural size for me?

Yesterday went well, but it's going to be an uphill battle. Fortunately, I have a great support system in Jason and I'm thankful for that. I'll keep my blog readers posted (haha, pun intended) on my progress along the way. Please be praying for discipline and grace for me through this.

Last, but certainly not least, I love hearing from people who read this. Whether it's encouragement, ideas, questions, or just a random comment, it really is all great. Community is so important and I want to know how I can be praying/encouraging you as well! 

I know this is long, so thanks for hanging in there and reading to the end :)

I've blogged to you...
Now you can blogbacktome

Scatterbrained

Good morning friends! I just want to warn you that I'm probably going to be a little bit all over the place today. I have a couple of things I'd like to say, but none of them really have a direct focus.

So, here we go...

Eating Better

Remember a few weeks ago when I went to the doctor, got blood work done, and he put me on a diet? Well, I told you that I'd share that plan with you. I think it is time.

Here are the basics:

This is the breakout of what I am allowed to eat each day.

According to the plan that the doctor gave me, I try to disperse between my calories, carbs, fats, and proteins like this -

Breakfast

• Lots of protein (eggs of some sort, which also has some fat in it)
• Little bit of carbs (fruit, yogurt, or skim milk)

For example, this is a pretty normal breakfast for me: 1-2 boiled eggs, a glass of skim milk, and coffee with a little bit of creamer and some Stevia.Usually if I eat two boiled eggs, I forgo the milk, but I was hungry this morning.

Lunch

• Lots of protein (usually from 99% fat free turkey of some sort)
• Little bit of carbs (fruit, yogurt, cheese)
• Green vegetable (salad, green beans, celery, etc.)

Here's another example - this is my lunch for today:

Dinner

• Lots of protein (lean chicken, lower fat ground turkey, grilled fish, or a very extra lean red meat)
• Lots of veggies
• Just a few carbs (sauces, cheese, MAYBE a piece of whole wheat bread, MAYBE a tiny bit of whole wheat pasta, fruit)
• Fats (just in random foods that I'm already eating)

Here's an example of a good dinner from a couple of weeks ago (dinners have been hard for me lately):

Usually, I eat a snack either in the morning or the afternoon. It's usually another Dannon Light & Fit yogurt, or sometimes a 0% Greek Yogurt with a dash of cinnamon.

Out to Eat

Jason and I have been SUPER busy lately. Lots of traveling, lots of friends/family in town. We have been eating out a whole lot, and I honestly don't know when that will change. I've had to really discipline myself in what I order though. Jason's tendency is to find something he likes on a menu and sticks with it. My nature is to try everything on a menu at least once. I've got to hand it to him, in this scenario, he's right. It's better to stick with items that you know will be healthier choices rather than jump around and try new things just for the sake of eating something new.

Remember that if you're going out to eat, you don't have to get off  your healthy lifestyle plan. Lean steaks are good to order with a veggie on the side. Fish is a great "night out" option as well. Say no to the rolls that are brought to the table, and always opt for a vinaigrette dressing on the side and steamed/grilled veggies as your side dish.

Here's my go-to meals for "out to eat" meals:

Japanese: Forgo the rice and add double veggies
Mexican: Fajita, no tortillas
Thai: Salad; chicken with brown rice (only eat half of the rice serving)
Italian: Salad?
BBQ: Salad or veggie sampler; sandwich with sauce and bun on the side
American chain restaurant (like Chili's): Fajita, fish, grilled chicken (look for their lower calorie options, usually they're marked)
Greek: Chicken with salad (dressing on side) and veggies

Fajita from Moe's Southwest Grill

Rock the Block 

Yesterday was day #2 of Rock the Block. Jason and I were in charge of games and we had a blast. Jason was Simon and kept a pretty consistent game of Simon says going on throughout all of the games (I'm not really sure how he did that, but it happened).

We played one game called "Mummy" and I got completely wrapped in toilet paper. I got a little bit claustrophobic, but it was for the greater good, so I toughed it out.

Tonight, Jason and I are in charge of the lesson. We are teaching on Romans 3:11 and John 1:29. We would seriously appreciate all of your prayers. We hope that the kid's (and hopefully parents) lives are changed through this week of Rock the Block.

4 Day Meals

As I said yesterday, Sunday Jason and I went grocery shopping. I bought enough food for dinner for four days. Since we have Rock the Block this week, I decided that we needed some easy-to-reheat meals for Sunday-Wednesday. So far, it's worked out well.

For Sunday/Tuesday I made BBQ Chicken Biscuits and Chicken Poppy Seed Casserole was (is) on the menu for Monday/Wednesday.


Chicken Poppy Seed Casserole:
Ingredients:

• 5 cups chicken breasts, cooked and cubed
• 1 cup fat-free sour cream
• 2 cans condensed cream of chicken soup (98% fat free)
• 2 cups crushed Reduced-fat Ritz crackers (about 1 1/2 rolls of crackers)
• 1/2 cup melted butter
• 1 T poppy seeds

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Saute raw chicken breasts with salt and pepper until done. Let chicken cool slightly and place cubed chicken in a 9X13 casserole dish.
3. Stir together the condensed soup and sour cream. Pour over the chicken.
4. In a separate bowl, stir together the crushed crackers, poppy seeds and melted butter. Sprinkle over the chicken and sauce.
5. Bake for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, until the top of the casserole is browned and the sauce is bubbly. Serve plain or over rice

Camp of Champions

Tomorrow Jason and I are headed to Shocco Springs for the Alabama Baptist Children's Homes Camp of Champions. Jason will be shooting a video and I'll be helping out with some general activities as well as shooting so photos.

We are so excited about getting to do this together. Our dream is to someday built a client base to where we can do this type of thing full-time to make a living. We love the ministry that the Children's Homes has and we love being a part of orphan care to advance the Kingdom.


Weekend Wedding

On Friday, Jason and I will head to North Carolina. Jason will be a groomsmen in a friend's wedding. We are so excited to celebrate this special day with our friends Cameron and Sarah, and we are praying for them as they begin their marriage. We are also very excited to have a little mini-vacay this weekend to a place that we've never been together! I'm hoping that Jason will love it so much that we can go back next year (fingers crossed).

That being said, this could be my last rambling for the week. I'm sure that I'll have access to internet, but I'm going to just enjoy myself and I'll post about all of our upcoming weekend activities next week. I'm so excited for these FUN TIMES!

"no one understands; no one seeks for God." - Romans 3:11

"The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him, and said, 'Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world!'" - John 1:29

Loose Ends

Whenever I finish something that I've started, I always feel really good about myself. I feel accomplished. I feel productive.

On the flip-side of that, whenever I have things that are left undone, I feel like a have this thing hanging over me and staring me in the face. I have to finish it. I have to be done. I can't stand loose ends.

Well, last night I finally finished the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. As I laid in bed trying to go to sleep, I felt accomplished and productive. I felt like I'd done something good and deserved a pat on the back, even if it was just from myself. Then I rolled over and looked at my bookshelves full of books that I've started and never finished, or purchased and never looked at after my credit card was swiped. Now I know what I'll be doing this summer!

Source

I definitely recommend Linda's book to - well anyone. It is scripture based and it thoroughly covers so many of the insecurities and questions that we, as women tend to face almost daily. There is also a 12-week study guide in the back and I'm praying through whether or not I should put together some sort of book study to cover this material. It was so full of truth and overall, it was encouraging. So many times I find myself reading books like that and either realizing that they're not rooted in the Word or concluding that I feel more discouraged after I've finished reading.

Now onto a section of this post that I'd like to title: Please Pray for Jessica

Yesterday was a big day for me. It was an ordinary day, but it carried a lot of underlying things that are pretty big and tied up a lot of loose ends.

First, yesterday marked four months until Jason and I get married. When I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:00 p.m. (which is the time that our ceremony will start), I wanted to get up and dance. Lucky for everyone in my wing at work, I did not.

Second, Jason and I (well, mostly I) were able to get everything prepared with our new washer and dryer. Since we bought them used, they needed to be cleaned up and we're actually selling the pedestals that they came with (if you're in the market for front loading washer and dryer pedestals, hit me up). I spent some time last night with Clorox in hand spraying down every inch of those suckers. They are now Jessica-sized (thanks to Jason and his mad un-bolting skills) and they are clean! Loose end tied.

As you can tell, I'm excited about hooking these puppies up. It's the first big purchase that Jason and I have made together, so I think it's fair that I'm this excited, right?

Next, I went to a general practitioner for the first time since I last saw my pediatrician (so roughly 5 years). Jason got his name from a friend of ours (thanks Lacey) and he went to see him last summer when he was struggling with his milk allergy. The doctor was wonderful and spent lots of time with Jason walking him through what steps they'd need to take for him to get better in time for the Fall tour. I read a lot of reviews about him online, and every single review said the same thing - he spends as much time as you  need in the room with you and he doesn't rush through the exam. I figured that establishing a family doctor in Birmingham was somewhat of another loose end that needed to be taken care of.

Well, he definitely lived up to his reputation. I really just wanted to get established with a doctor here, but I also haven't talked to a doctor about my insulin resistance since I was 17 or 18-years-old. A lot has changed since then in my life, my surroundings, and in my body.

He talked to me for a while and then he said that they were going to do some blood work. He asked me some questions about things that are symptoms of diabetes. I'd told him that I was getting married in September and he told me that it's really good that I came in because many of the things I had questions about, if left untreated, could lead to infertility down the road. Obviously, Jason and I are planning on adopting at least once in our lives, so infertility doesn't scare me as much as some, but I still don't want to have to deal with it. I'd like to be able to have biological kids too.

Then came the biggie - he put me on a diet plan. I wasn't offended or worried like I probably would have been a couple of yeas ago. I wanted him to do that. I wanted to know if I'm doing the right things, if I'm doing things wrong, and if I'm doing things that will be effective in creating a healthier lifestyle for myself.

As it turns out, I'm definitively on the right path. He told me to be exercising consistently and to aim to eat about 1,200 calories a day. He said that due to the insulin resistance, he's going to put me on a low carb/low fat diet. I'm allowed 120 grams of carbohydrates per day and about 32 grams of fat per day.

I plugged all of this new information into the myfitnesspal.com app that I have on my iPhone and went to get my blood work done.

Here's where I'm asking for prayer: my blood work.

I've had blood work done tons of times, but this is really the first time I've been worried about it. I'm 23-years-old and so far I haven't been able to lose weight eating a normal healthy diet and exercising pretty consistently. I have a history of diabetes in my family and I am at a higher risk for it because of the insulin resistance. I'm praying that my blood work has answers but that the results don't contain something wrong with me (aka diabetes). Please pray for self-control and determination with eating according to the doctor's rules as well as consistency in my exercising routine. Overall, pray that I would not forget for a second that God is in control regardless of my circumstances and this is a battle that he's already won.

Thank you all so much in advance for your prayers. Stay tuned for more about the diet plan and the results of my  blood work.

Let me quit rambling so that we can all turn to our Savior in prayer today.

A Prayer of Contentment

I know you're thinking, "What?!?!? Two posts in one day? I don't have time for this kind of rambling, Jessica." But I promise that you will not be disappointed. If you never read anything else that I write, please read this post (mostly because it's mostly written by someone else).


I'm reading the book a book called Calm my Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow*. The book was actually recommended to me by a blog reader and friend after I posted the confessions post a few weeks ago. I have thoroughly enjoyed this book thus far (I'm only on chapter three...but I'm a slow reader).


This excerpt of the book is coming from Psalm 139. Take few minutes to read it (by clicking the link) and then read this quote from the book. You will not regret it!

According to Psalm 139, God not only created your personality, He also gave you your body. Verse 15 reads, “My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth” (NASB).

In Hebrew, the word translated wrought means “embroidered.” It was the same Hebrew word used to refer to the skillful and artistic needlework in the curtains of the Old Testament tabernacle. When God fashioned you in your mother’s womb (described in the psalm as “the depths of the earth”), He embroidered with great skill. Although no one else could see you, God saw every detail of the formation of your body. As a weaver intricately embroiders colors together to create a beautiful pattern, God knit together your veins, muscles, nerves, and every curve and indentation that is uniquely yours. What tapestry can begin to equal the human fabric?

Perhaps you think other female tapestry is beautiful, but not yours. “I don’t like my nose, my hips, my breasts. In fact I really don’t like much about me.” All of us could list things we’d like changed about ourselves. But if we are displeased with our physical form, we’re really arguing with He is responsible for the color of our hair and the size of our nose and whether we have cellulite.

I’m not surprised that so many women struggle over their personal appearance. The values of our American culture are warped. We’re constantly bombarded with pressure created by the media to have a “perfect” body. This emphasis is wrong and unbiblical. As Christian women, we know this perspective is twisted, yet how easy it is to get caught up in the deadly disease of comparison.

My husband, Jody, believes that women look at other women more than men look at women. This may sound strange, but I think he’s right. We women analyze, scrutinize, and compare to see how we stack up to the supermodel in her skimpy bathing suit. I never come out looking very good. When we compare ourselves with others, we’re told we are without understanding. The Living Bible says we are “stupid” (2 Corinthians 10: 12).

Several years ago I read an article by the Reverend James Hufstetler** that put the comparison game in perspective.

You will never really enjoy other people, you will never have stable emotions, you will never lead a life of godly contentment, you will never conquer jealousy and love others as you should until you thank God for making you the way He did.

God wants each of us to praise Him for His workmanship in creating us.

George MacDonald***, the man C. S. Lewis called his mentor, wrote,

I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God’s thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.


This is a prayer of contentment.

*Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content . Navpress. Kindle Edition. 

**James Hufstetler, “On Knowing Oneself,” The Banner of Truth 280 (January 1987), p. 13.


***by J. R. Miller in a printed message, “Finding One’s Mission” (Swengel, PA: Peiner Publications, n.d.), p. 2.

Birthday Recap

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes yesterday! I was so overwhelmed by the Facebook comments, Twitter @mentions, text messages, emails, and in-person friends who wished me a happy birthday. It was indeed a happy day. I'm so blessed.

Jason surprised me at work yesterday and took me to lunch. He showed up carrying pink impatiens and a birthday balloon.

Then, he whisked me away to Urban Cookhouse for lunch. While we were there, I reminded him that we ate there last year on my birthday too! I think it must become a tradition.

While we were at lunch, he went ahead and gave me my birthday present. He bought me beautiful diamond earrings from the same store that he bought my engagement ring. I'm telling you, that man needs a frequent buyer card at Helzberg Diamonds.

Best. Fiancé. Ever.

After lunch, we walked down to Savage's Bakery and Jason bought me a red velvet cupcake. It was the perfect amount of cake for my birthday. And it was magically delicious.

I went back to work and counted down the hours until I got to go to dinner. At 5:00, I battled the rain and Hwy. 280 traffic to get to Chuy's. Jason was already there so that he could get a table and we wouldn't have to wait.

We took full advantage of Chuy's nacho bar. For those of you who don't know, Chuy's offers a free nacho bar from 4:00-6:30 (or 7:00) on the weekdays. I could have honestly made a meal off of that...but of course I didn't. I ordered the Monday special, which was enchiladas blancas. Yummy...but I didn't even make a dent in my meal after the nacho-fest.

Friends started showing up around 6:00. I was so excited to celebrate with my friends. It's always fun when different groups come together and you get to fellowship with everyone. We ended up staying at Chuy's until almost 8:00. It was so fun just to sit and talk and laugh.

I can always count on Rachel to remember to take pictures on special occasions!

Again, I'm so blessed.

After dinner, Jason and I went back to my apartment just to hang out. My roommate and her fiancé are in grad school and they were busy writing papers. Props to them for sure...but Jason and I decided we don't miss college (or at least that part of college) one bit. To all of you in grad school: you are a more determined person than me...and smarter too!

This morning I decided it was time to get back on track. Time to stick to my rules and my plan. No more splurging in the name of birthday!

Breakfast: sliced strawberries and blueberries

Jason and I have small group tonight, so we'll have to eat a quick dinner before we head out the door this evening. I'm planning on making Caribbean chicken, so I'll have the recipe for that up tomorrow.

I am also going to try a recipe I saw on my favorite blog yesterday. Vanilla Avocado Soft Serve sounds like it would be right up my ally. I even sliced up and avocado this morning and put it into the freezer so that I come make this treat after small group tonight.

Well, until tomorrow, I'll press pause on my rambling.

Prayer focus of the day: Today I am praying for my sweet neighbor, Mr. Fritsch, who lives next door. His wife passed away this year after battling Alzheimer's disease for over three years. Will you join me in praying for him today?

Game Over

Today, I wish for a few more Saturdays, pretty please!

I have had such a productive day. And because of my productiveness, I haven't had time to snack or anything. Usually snacking (on unhealthy items) is my downfall over the weekend.

Last night I was invited to go out to dinner with a couple of friends from church. Jason and I are so blessed to be friends with such amazing people. Even though Jason wasn't there last night, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

We ate at one of my favorite local restaurants, Iguana Grill.  I guess I celebrated Cinco de Mayo a day early, oops! I didn't eat the best, but I did okay. I just had a cheese quesadilla with some guacamole. I waited until I got my food to even touch the chips (a little trick I learned when my mom did Weight Watchers back in the day). I also broke them in to smaller pieces instead of taking big bites out of them (another WW trick).

After dinner we went back to one of the couple's townhouse. They are actually in the adoption process so we got to hear all about that, hear the name they've picked out, and see a cute little baby fedora. I was so encouraged to hear all about the adoption process, but it also made me think that Jason and I could be doing the same thing in just a few short years!!

This morning I woke up at 7:00 like a normal work week morning. I was frustrated, but then I decided to read on my new Kindle. I finally finished the book that I've been trying to complete since Christmas (victory dance break).

While I was reading I decided that today would be a running day, so after finishing the book I hopped out of bed and made some peanut butter oatmeal with a nice cup of coffee.

Whole wheat oats with chocolate PB2 (it's all gone now). 

A little while later I made my way to the gym. It felt good to hop on the treadmill and just listen to music for 45 minutes without having to think about anything.

When I got home I made some lunch. I fixed leftover taco bake, so nothing outstanding enough to take a picture of. I also started some laundry.

As I was finishing lunch, a technician from Charter showed up to finally fix our internet! Whoohoo!!

Next it was time to hit the grocery store. I usually can do a week's worth of grocery shopping in about 30-40 minutes for about $60-$70.  But, as of tomorrow afternoon Jason will be home full-time. I'm super excited, but I'm not really sure how to feed him, full-time.

Since our apartments are across the street from each other, it's not hard for us to eat dinner together each night. I have also been "strongly encouraging" him to start taking his lunch when he works at Apple, so I picked up some whole wheat bread and doubled my deli order.

Jason also sent me these lovely pictures from their tour ice cream social.

My response: Why do I need to see that?

The outcome at Publix was better than I thought it would be. I got enough food for both of us to last the week and it only took me one hour and $91. Not too shabby :)

As I was leaving Publix I began to make conversation with the man who walked my groceries to my car. I'm always reminded in times like those (times that can be sufficiently awkward) that I have such a opportunity to share God's love in day-to-day activities.

Tonight my plans are to clean the rest of my apartment (finish laundry, clean my bathroom, and vacuum the floors). I'm not sure how today turned into my cleaning day, but I guess I want Jason to want to stay in town when he gets home tomorrow and not long for his "luxurious bunk" on the tour bus.

Also, every time a tour ends they have a paper plate award ceremony. Today, Jason received the "Game Over Award". I wasn't sure what to think about that, but I've decided that it's good because he's mine and no one else's...

So...


Game. Over.

That's enough from me. I'll quit rambling and let you talk...

What did you do with your Saturday?

These are my Confessions

Last night a couple of things happened.

1. My internet went out from 8:00 in the evening until I went to bed.
2. Jason called to get Charter to fix my internet...without me asking him to (he gets major points for this).
3. I ate lots of pistachios before dinner.
4. I watched TV for about four hours.
5. I had a relapse. 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I relapsed.

This morning I woke and felt how I suppose Peter felt in Matthew 14 when Jesus walks on water.

Matthew 14:28-33 says, "And Peter answered him, 'Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.' He said, 'Come.' So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.'  Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?' And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, 'Truly you are the Son of God.'"

Last night as I sat on my couch digging into a pint of ice cream, I felt like a hypocrite. But as I went to bed a few hours later, I realized that this was bound to happen and God will definitely use my lack of self-control for His glory. 

Here's what happened:

I've been waking up every morning and weighing myself. Yesterday, I weight myself and instead of being down another pound or so, I was up two pounds. I thought to myself, "That's okay, just keep on being healthy and it'll be fine." But really, I was kind of freaking out.

So throughout the day, I snacked more than I usually do on things like M&M's. Not a lot of M&M's, just a few here or there. Then, when I got home, I wanted a few pistachios; I ate the rest of the bag. Then, I made dinner. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Then, I wanted something sweet so I poured some strawberry Greek yogurt into a bowl and mixed in a teaspoon of Nutella. Then, I ate the rest of the Nutella that was in the jar (it wasn't much, but I literally cleaned it out). Then, I still wasn't satisfied, so I grabbed my emergency pint of TCBY frozen yogurt that I bought in case I wanted a TASTE of something sweet. I ate the whole thing. Then I had a pity party, watched more TV, got mad at Charter, and went to bed.  

My really large stack of pistachio shells and my leftovers from Tuesday night.

What the heck? I ate fruits and veggies AND tomatoes last week and withstood tons of temptation! What was I doing? 

Nutella is a problem.

I wasn't having faith. I forgot that God is in control and I forgot that my life is completely in his hands...even this! I forgot that I'm in a spiritual battle here.  

Notice the negative calories at the top.

I then remembered that I've always done this. I'd be good at being healthy for a week or two, and then I would start questioning God, "Why do I have to work at this so hard? Why can't I look like her, or her, or even her?" Last night wasn't about the food or the calories I consumed, it was about relapsing into my lack of faith.  

Here's the difference between the dozens of times I've done this in the past and today: it's not a secret. 

Luke 12:2-3 says, "Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops."

James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." 

These verses directly point to the fact that I must not hide my weakness, or my sin. I know it sounds extreme to say that by eating Nutella and ice cream in the same night, I'm sinning. But as I said, it's not about the food, it's about a lack of faith.  

I know that I am not in the battle alone. So won't you pray with me and for me today?

How can I pray for you? None of us are in alone. 

Today is also the National Day of Prayer. 

Let us stand strong as the body of Christ and take our ramblings to our heavenly Father, for he cares for us deeply.  

*For more background information on my lifelong battle with a healthy lifestyle, read here. 

Eats and Little Treats

One of the biggest realizations that I've come to in the last week and a half is that to maintain a healthy lifestyle is that I must do my research and plan ahead!

Since I've been really bad about posting my meals over the last few days, I will go through from Sunday-Tuesday and explain what I mean by researching and planning ahead along the way.

Hopefully, at the end of this post you'll see that it's not hard to change your eating habits. I'm not eating "diet food" nor am I eating nasty cardboard stuff. I'm just following the rules and guidelines that I set up for myself and I'm not letting anyone or anything persuade me to get off that course of action. 

Sunday
Sunday I drove back to Birmingham from Destin. I know that I always get hungry on this drive, and my usual reaction is to stop about an hour and a half in and get something from McDonald's like an ice cream or a McFlurry. If I'm feeling healthier, maybe I'll just go for a smoothie. But Sunday I ate Great Value nonfat yogurt before I left Destin and packed an apple for when the hunger would strike.

By the time I got back to Birmingham, I was still not hungry, so I went on to the grocery store, and then finally made it home. I had about 20 minutes to kill before Jason got back in town, so I made myself a smoothie for lunch. It was around 1:30 or 2:00 when I did this, so the yogurt and apple really held me over.

I don't have a picture of my smoothie because I drank it too fast, but here's the recipe -

Peanut Butter Banana Smoothie:
4 oz. skim milk
2 very ripe bananas
2 tbsp. natural peanut butter (creamy)
6 ice cubes (this may vary depending on the size of your ice cubes)

I really meant to drink half of the smoothie then and half before church, but I was kind of really hungry by then so I drank the whole thing. Jason and I were going to the 6:00 service at church, which means no dinner until 8:15 or so. I decided on a super filling snack to hold me over.

Nutella Yummy Oats:
1/2 c. whole wheat oats
2 tsp. Nutella
1 c. water

This will be a breakfast meal in the near future.

Stir all of this together and then put in the microwave for about two minutes. I honestly couldn't even finish this snack because I was so full. I also wasn't hungry until about 8:45 that night.

After church, Jason wanted to pick up sushi and take it back to my apartment. I decided to just make a salad when I got home.


Dinner Salad Galore:
1-2 c. spinach leaves
1/2 avocado chopped
1/4 c. fat free shredded cheddar cheese
1 slice roast beef from the deli
2 tsp balsamic vinegar
1 tsp extra virgin olive oil (EVOO)

Since Jason picked up food from Maki Fresh, I decided to pretend I did too and I used one of our many Maki cups for my water.

Here is my calorie count for the day:

I think the smoothie and oats snack made my calories a bit too high for the day.

Monday:
Monday was date night. Here's where the research comes in - Jason had mentioned going to Stix for dinner. I usually get the teriyaki chicken without rice and I substitute double veggies. So I looked up the nutrition facts on that meal and it was pretty decent, especially for dinner. Then, I thought about another restaurant that Jason and I like a lot that is a Mongolian grill type place. You pick your protein, veggies, seasonings, and sauce and then they cook it for you. I looked up their website to try to find the nutritional information, and guess what? They let you build your own meal online and they count the nutrition facts as you're building it.

I built my meal and recorded the nutritional information. After that, I called Jason and asked if he wanted to go there instead. He was all for it, thus I had a super healthy dinner, even though we were on a date!

No special recipes today, but here goes a "normal" day for me:


Breakfast:
1 c. skim milk
1/2 lb. watermelon
Coffee - Millstone Foglifter

Lunch:
2 oz. turkey from the deli
Great Value nonfat vanilla yogurt
1/2 c. cucumber slices
1 tsp. wasabi mustard (probably less)
25 pistachios (no salt added, also this was throughout the afternoon)

3:00 Snack:
Sliced orange

Dinner:
Genghis Grill bowl - Chicken, shrimp, yellow squash/zucchini, celery, spinach leaves, broccoli, green beans, red pepper flakes, salt, island teriyaki sauce.

This comes with a starch, but I ordered tortillas on the side and I didn't eat them.

Once we got home, I made a little snack because Jason popped some popcorn. I mixed up some fat free/sugar free chocolate pudding with skim milk. While that was gelling, I got out the Nutella (can you tell I'm a big fan?). I spooned some pudding into a bowl and put an even teaspoon of Nutella right in the middle. It was the perfect dessert for less than 200 calories.

Here's my calorie intake for Monday:

Tuesday:
Today was a little bit harder for me to research because Jason and I decided to meet for lunch about 20 minutes before we actually met. Luckily, I brought my lunch to work today, so if he picked some place that would be hard for me to eat at, I was just going to bring my lunch with me or eat after. Luckily, he chose a place where I can eat pretty decently and that has their nutritional facts online.

Breakfast:
1 c. skim milk
Oikos 0% Greek yogurt, vanilla
Coffee - Folger's Black Silk

Lunch:
Taziki's Chicken Feast with basmati rice (although I only ate about 2 bites of the rice) and a small Greek salad (but I didn't use the dressing).

Doesn't this look yummy? I even ate the tomatoes...but I still don't like them!

Dinner:
Things got tricky at dinner tonight. I've been so excited about making Mini-French Dip Sammies for Jason, but that's not something that I can eat. So before I left for work today, I pulled from my stock of frozen tilapia and left two filets out to thaw. I recently saw a recipe for "Fish Cakes" on a blog and I've been wanting to try it. Tonight seemed like as good a night as ever!

My dinner -

Fish Cake Spinach Salad (recipe adapted from the Fit Cook blog):
Ingredients

• 2 filets of white fish (tilapia)
• 1/4 cup red pepper, chopped
• 1 tbsp Greek yogurt
• 2 tsp mustard (yellow or Dijon)
• 1 egg white
• the juice of half a lemon
• Emeril's Fish Seasoning
• salt + pepper
• 2 c. spinach leaves
• 1/2 cucumber sliced
• 1/2 avocado sliced
• 2 tbsp. balsamic vinegar

Directions

1. Heat 1/2 tbsp olive oil** in a large pan over medium high heat. Add the red pepper, and cook until soft and lightly browned, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a bowl.
2. Add another 1/2 tbsp olive oil to the pan. Season the fish with salt and pepper on both sides, and cook on each side for about 3 minutes, allowing the fish to brown (brown = more flavor). Use a spatula to break up the fish, then transfer it to the bowl with the onion and pepper.
3. Add the Greek yogurt, mustard, fish seasoning, egg white, and lemon juice to the bowl and stir with a spoon until well combined. Set bowl aside and let mixture cool.
4. Prepare spinach, cucumbers, and avocado on a large plate. 
5. Serve 1/4 to 1/2 (depending on how much you want) of the mixture on top of the salad.
6. Pour balsamic vinegar on top and it's ready to eat!

**I used nonstick cooking spray instead of EVOO.

Jason's Dinner -

Mini-French Dip Sammies (recipe from Plain Chicken blog):
Ingredients

• 1/2 pound deli roast beef, thinly sliced
• 4 slices provolone cheese
• Arby's sauce, horseradish sauce, or ranch dressing
• 1 can refrigerated crescent rolls
• 1 packet Au Jus Gravy mix

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Separate crescent rolls into 8 triangles.  Spread 1/2 teaspoon Arby's sauce or ranch dressing on each crescent.  Top each crescent with 1/2 slice provolone cheese and roast beef.  Roll up crescents and place on baking sheet.  Bake for approximately 15 minutes or until golden brown.
3. While crescents are baking, make Au Jus according to directions on packet. 

I also had the second half of my pudding/Nutella dessert tonight.

Here is my calorie count for today:

If I can live a healthier lifestyle, so can you.

Goodnight everyone!

...and until tomorrow, happy ramblings!

Cleanse Overview and Beyond

Source

It is time for an overview of the cleanse. I have decided to keep blogging about my relationship with food, exercise, wedding prep, and whatever fun things I decide to write about. This means I'll be keeping you updated on my post cleanse lifestyle changes.

So here's a quick overview of the cleanse (feel free to post any questions you may have, or you can contact me directly):

• Total weight lost = 8 lb. 
• Total money spent = $97 
• Difference in money spent on cleanse and money spent weekly = around $15-$20 (but I had a lot of fruit left over)

I can't really think of any other statistic-type thing that gives a good overview. I do know that I feel great. This morning when I was getting ready for work, I noticed that my clothes are looser and my skin is clearer. 

If I do the cleanse again I think that I will buy less food right off the bat. I over-bought because I was afraid of being hungry. I also think I would buy some sort of salt substitute, because I did have to put salt on my veggies throughout the cleanse.

Another change I would make is day seven. I think that I would try to do one more fruit/veggie only day rather than the soup. It was kind of a hassle, but that was partly because I was trying to travel with it.

So here's the big question...

Where do I go from here?

I still have some more weight I'd like to lose. I also want to just become "firmer" if that  makes sense. Especially after buying my wedding dress, I want my arms to be more toned as well as my tummy and legs.

I've decided to be open minded. If someone gives me a suggestion, I'm going to try it.

I'm also going to combine all of the knowledge I have about dieting and nutrition and come up with my own lifestyle change plan. Here's what I'm thinking:

• Most of the food I eat will be fruits and veggies.*
• I will eat a small portion of whole grain every other day, or maybe just 3 times a week depending on how things are going (usually this will be before 3:00 p.m.).*
• I will eat lean meats such as turkey, chicken, and lean beef.
• I will allow myself one "treat" each weekend. This will give me something to work toward each week and hopefully prevent any binging. I don't want to deprive myself, but at the same time, to lose weight and become healthier I have to learn to say no sometimes.
• I will cut out salad dressing, pretty much altogether. Lemon juice, balsamic vinegar, and a tiny bit of extra virgin olive oil is much healthier and much better for me.
• I will pick back up on on day three, level one of the 30 Day Shred.
• I will begin doing cardio and strength exercise in some way shape or form 4-5 days a week in addition to the 30 Day Shred (suggestions welcome).

I know a lot of people who are really big on healthy lifestyles say not to live by a set of "rules". But at the same time, in many ways I live my life by a set of rules. I have rules at work, rules that are biblical that I live by, rules that Jason and I have for ourselves and each other, rules when I drive, rules with how I spend my money, and probably many other aspects of life that I'm not thinking of right now.

Rules are not necessarily a bad thing. They help us live balanced and more peaceful lives.

Why shouldn't I have rules to what I put in my body and how I exercise?

If you have a good reason or reasons, please, by all means let me know. I truly am trying to be genuinely healthy.

Oh, and I am going to try to start posting recipes, so be looking for a recipe tab in the near future.

That's about it. That's where I've been over the last 10 days or so and where hoping to go over the next couple of months...and hopefully longer.

I believe I'm all caught up on my rambling...for now. Have a great Monday everyone!



*Since I am insulin resistant, my body does not process sugars (even natural sugars) in a "normal" way. I'm not trying to go "low carb" necessarily, but I honestly do not process sugars the right way, so I kind of have to do that. For the first two bullet points of "where I'm going", I'm not saying that fruits and whole wheat items have to be limited like that. But of course, if you'd like to do that, see how it works.