[Worry] Warts are Gross

When I was in 4th grade I had to create a business as a school project. Our entire classroom was covered in upside down refrigerator boxes for about a month. I don't remember the name of our business, but I do know that at first our business failed. 

Then, we learned about worry dolls. 

My mom taught my friend and me how to make worry dolls out of clothespins. We made hundreds of them, and they sold so well! In the end, we didn't fail.

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Ironically, we didn't fail this project because worry exists in the world. In fact, not only does it exist, it is ever present and prevalent in our lives. 

Last week I introduced you all to the book I'm reading called Calm my Anxious Heart. Well, I'm finally on chapter nine. I took me a day and night to finish chapter eight. Yes, I'm a slow reader, but it took me so long because I truly struggled through the chapter called, "Worry is not a Rocking Chair".

If you've ever taken the Myers Briggs personality test, you'll know what I mean when I say that I'm very much a "J". I'm convinced that this personality trait, plus the fact that I'm a sinner living in fallen world, leaves me with a lot of worry. As Jason says, I'm a "worrier". 

This is me way too often.
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This chapter of the book went all military on me (meaning that it broke me down and then eventually it built me back up). When the author, Linda Dillow, did a study on the topic of worry among women, she found that women worry about these things the most:

• Money
• Parenting
• Marriage
• Health
• Job security
• Weight
• Threats

Here are the reasons why women worry about these things:

• The world is out of control
• Families are out of control
• My life is out of control

Like Linda, I can definitely identity with these women, but for me, this list of reasons begs the question:

Who IS in control?

As I've already stated in a previous post, we know that God is in control.

In the book, Linda places a quote at the beginning of this chapter.

"George Müller said, 'The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith. The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.'  All our fret and worry are caused by calculating without God."*

When she wrote, "We say with one breath that we trust God and with the next breath how worried we are! Worry and anxiety give a small thing a big shadow, and this shadow creates problems, not just in the soul and spirit, but in the body,"**

When I read this yesterday, I felt like Linda could see into my filthy, unfaithful heart.

How many of us do this? How many of us sit at church and nod our heads and sing and worship, go to bible study and live out our "good Christian life", but then when we are alone or when one thing doesn't go our way, we freak out and ask God why he's doing this to us? I know that I am so very guilty of this.

I could probably write a book myself just on this topic alone. I could go on and on about how the only thing that God has done for us is send his perfect and holy Son to die on the cross for our sins. I could state that we are all hypocrites and in the middle of circumstances that are less than ideal, we should cling to the cross rather than blame the Sacrifice. I might even would add that if God gave us what we deserve, we probably would be a lot more upset about where we'd all end up.

But, I'm not a preacher. I'm just a girl who writes a blog to share with those of you who read it about what I'm walking through in my life. So, keeping that in mind, I will fall back into line and tell you all that I fail at not being anxious and not worrying each and every day. I fail miserably.

(And here it is folks, the call to action. You must have known by now that it was coming soon)

If you feel like you may identify with this, if you, like me, are a chronic worrier, here is some truthes that are so obvious, but sometimes so difficult to truly embrace.

• Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.**

• Perhaps the most striking characteristic of worry is its absolute impotence. Worry never changes a single thing except the worrier.**

• Worry is definitely counterproductive. Like our earlier illustration of a rocking chair, it doesn’t get us anywhere, but at least it gives us something to do, and women like to do something!***

• 1 Peter 5: 6-7 gave us an alternative to carrying the anxiety ourselves. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."****

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May we cling to the truths of scripture.

May we pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). May with cast our anxiety on the Lord (1 Peter 5:6-7). May we be strong in Christ and not fear what circumstances come our way (Isaiah 35:3-5).  May we recognize that God has placed us here for a purpose, not just to survive (Matthew 6:25). May we not be anxious about tomorrow (Matthew 6:33-34). May we lift our voices in prayer instead of wasting away our days being anxious and worrying about things that God is sovereign over (Philippians 4:5-7).

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 Enough rambling for now...that picture was worth all the rest of my words (so stinkin' cute, right?). 

Prayer Focus for the Day: May we ask God to lead us to a place where we do not worry and we solely rely upon him for his provision. May we ask him to place people in our lives who can encourage us in this area of worry and anxiety. May we also ask God to place us in others' lives to be someone who is an encouragement to them.





****Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 116). Navpress. Kindle Edition. 

***Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 114). Navpress. Kindle Edition.

**Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 113). Navpress. Kindle Edition.

*Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 108). Navpress. Kindle Edition.  

These are my Confessions

Last night a couple of things happened.

1. My internet went out from 8:00 in the evening until I went to bed.
2. Jason called to get Charter to fix my internet...without me asking him to (he gets major points for this).
3. I ate lots of pistachios before dinner.
4. I watched TV for about four hours.
5. I had a relapse. 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I relapsed.

This morning I woke and felt how I suppose Peter felt in Matthew 14 when Jesus walks on water.

Matthew 14:28-33 says, "And Peter answered him, 'Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.' He said, 'Come.' So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.'  Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?' And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, 'Truly you are the Son of God.'"

Last night as I sat on my couch digging into a pint of ice cream, I felt like a hypocrite. But as I went to bed a few hours later, I realized that this was bound to happen and God will definitely use my lack of self-control for His glory. 

Here's what happened:

I've been waking up every morning and weighing myself. Yesterday, I weight myself and instead of being down another pound or so, I was up two pounds. I thought to myself, "That's okay, just keep on being healthy and it'll be fine." But really, I was kind of freaking out.

So throughout the day, I snacked more than I usually do on things like M&M's. Not a lot of M&M's, just a few here or there. Then, when I got home, I wanted a few pistachios; I ate the rest of the bag. Then, I made dinner. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Then, I wanted something sweet so I poured some strawberry Greek yogurt into a bowl and mixed in a teaspoon of Nutella. Then, I ate the rest of the Nutella that was in the jar (it wasn't much, but I literally cleaned it out). Then, I still wasn't satisfied, so I grabbed my emergency pint of TCBY frozen yogurt that I bought in case I wanted a TASTE of something sweet. I ate the whole thing. Then I had a pity party, watched more TV, got mad at Charter, and went to bed.  

My really large stack of pistachio shells and my leftovers from Tuesday night.

What the heck? I ate fruits and veggies AND tomatoes last week and withstood tons of temptation! What was I doing? 

Nutella is a problem.

I wasn't having faith. I forgot that God is in control and I forgot that my life is completely in his hands...even this! I forgot that I'm in a spiritual battle here.  

Notice the negative calories at the top.

I then remembered that I've always done this. I'd be good at being healthy for a week or two, and then I would start questioning God, "Why do I have to work at this so hard? Why can't I look like her, or her, or even her?" Last night wasn't about the food or the calories I consumed, it was about relapsing into my lack of faith.  

Here's the difference between the dozens of times I've done this in the past and today: it's not a secret. 

Luke 12:2-3 says, "Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops."

James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." 

These verses directly point to the fact that I must not hide my weakness, or my sin. I know it sounds extreme to say that by eating Nutella and ice cream in the same night, I'm sinning. But as I said, it's not about the food, it's about a lack of faith.  

I know that I am not in the battle alone. So won't you pray with me and for me today?

How can I pray for you? None of us are in alone. 

Today is also the National Day of Prayer. 

Let us stand strong as the body of Christ and take our ramblings to our heavenly Father, for he cares for us deeply.  

*For more background information on my lifelong battle with a healthy lifestyle, read here. 

Day 7: The Last Hurdle

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I can totally relate with every emotion this little guy is experiencing. All day I've been carrying this track race analogy around in my mind.

For closer examination of this picture, I'm the little dude jumping. My face is saying, "The finish line is right there! It's so close. Just one more hurdle and I can do it!" The people behind him watching are all of you! I've had so much encouragement along the way and I'm so thankful for it! The people behind him standing up and looking are all of you who are saying, "Girl, you crazy!"

This morning I got up an hour before my alarm went off because I'm so excited to go home. I usually roll over and check all of my random emails that I get throughout the night and when I did that this morning, I came across this...

...thus the reason for my excitement.  David's Bridal, I am eager to see you as well!

Today, the cleanse is supposed to be all about the soup. I packed everything up in my handy-dandy Publix bag, packed my car with dress shopping supplies, clothes for the weekend, and my ice chest full of fruit and I was off to work. About 4 miles away from my apartment, I had to pull over and rearrange how the soup was situated because it was spilling.

I was planning on just eating some soup around 10:15 or 10:30. But by the time I got to work, I was really hungry. Since soup was about the last thing I wanted at 8:30 a.m. I decided to cheat just a weeeee bit and I grabbed a handful of grapes from the ice chest. I very highly doubt that eating six grapes first thing in the morning on day seven is going to ruin my cleanse (but if it does, I'll let you know).

Out of curiosity and excitement, I checked Jason and my wedding website to see how many days we have until we say, "I do."

I almost squealed at my desk. Less than 150 days!

On a side note, but still an important note, today is the one year anniversary of the tornadoes that affected so many lives in Alabama. I hope and pray that those who have lost loved ones as well as dear possessions will rely on the hope that we find in Christ alone.

Growing up on the coast of Florida, I feel like I know all too well the power that a storm can have on our lives. In my almost 23 years of life I believe that I've also experienced storms spiritually and emotionally that affect each one of us in different ways. Whenever I hear reports of storms on the news, or experience them first hand whether literally or figuratively, I am reminded of Job.

Job 1:20-22 says (after all of his possessions, wealth, AND children had been taken from him), "Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong."

A dear friend of mine, Mandi Mapes, wrote a song after the earthquake struck Haiti in January 2010. I believe that the lyrics of this song are true in our lives in any type of storm.

In Your Arms (by Mandi Mapes)

 To read the rest of the lyrics to this song, go to the Radical Experiment page. If you'd like to read the story behind these lyrics, visit Mandi's blog. If you'd like to buy this song, go to iTunes.


So onto soup...

Eat to the smile!

I ate my first soup around 10:50 a.m., my second bowl around 12:30 p.m., and my third bowl around 1:00 p.m.

I was able to leave work today around 3:15. It was so wonderful to get on the road a little bit early.

After four hours of driving, I entered Destin with this beautiful view.

I truly do love my hometown. I'm proud to have been born and raised in paradise.

When I walked in the door, I was greeted by my parents and my beautiful sister, Carlee. I was starving. I had only eaten about 150 calories today, and I was in need of something...but not soup.

I heated up my soup and took a bite. I almost gagged. I've heard that a lot of times when you change your diet drastically, your body will give you cravings when you're in need of a type of food (I don't think this is true with ice cream though, unfortunately). 


This is what I ended up eating for dinner:

PROTEIN!

Dinner:
Mom's leftover ground turkey
Corn
Black beans
Kidney beans
Watermelon

Although I "broke" the cleanse tonight, I feel good about my decision. You have to listen to your body. And I didn't break out a gallon of ice cream, I just reverted back to the previous day's eating plan (poultry and veggies).

Well, I'm going to call it a night and spend some quality time with my family. My mom just said, "I think I'm obsessed with wedding stuff right now." I think that's my queue!

Tomorrow = COFFEE!
Cleanse = COMPLETE!

P.S. My mom just said, "Ruching does amazing things for people." We're watching "Say Yes to the Dress" preparing for tomorrow! AAAHHH! I'm convinced my mother is a cartoon character.