Day 3: Birmingham's A-Bloomin' & A Tough Day & Good News

Verse of the Day: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him.” - Lamentations 3:22-24

What a beautiful sight it is to drive around Birmingham right now. Although I'm not particularly enjoying all of the pollen covering my car and coating the inside of my sinuses, the blooming trees and flowers are really a treat. 
 

Flowers and trees around our apartment complex/along my drive to work

Now, I don't understand all the ins and outs of how pollen is created, why it's created, or any of that stuff (actually, I just Googled it and tried to learn about it but my eyes started glazing over so I decided to just admit my ignorance). But all this beautiful (yellow sprinkled) nature really made me think as I drove home from work yesterday. 

There is such a complex system to which God allows the flowers to bloom - it's biological, it's scientific, it's perfect, it's a miracle. At the same time, there is a complex system to which God allows our bodies to work - it's biological, it's scientific, it's perfect, it's a miracle. 

That was exactly the "ah-ha" moment I needed to have a truth to cling to last night, because when I got home, things got rough. 

I had done really well living on veggies all day. I got really hungry right before lunch - like I thought I was going to pass out hungry - but I still didn't cheat. I'd basically stayed in a state of "I think I'm going to pass out" for the rest of the afternoon. When I got home, thinks only got worse. 

A few weeks ago, our ceiling started leaking right above our kitchen sink. When I got home, this is what I found...

Y'all that was one of the grossest cleanups ever.

I was not a happy camper.

Then I realized that half of that gross looking water was chicken broth from the chicken that I had put in the crock pot for Jason - the crock pot had a huge crack in it. 

When Jason got home, I was about at my whits end. When he found out that I'd felt like I was going to pass out for the last 5 hours, he forced me to eat some of his dinner (thanks Jason) alongside my large-and-in-charge salad. I decided not to argue, mainly because I didn't have enough energy to, but I think that he made a smart decision. I also ate a few crackers just to settle my stomach.

Jason's dinner is in the background...thanks for sharing J!

We spent most of the evening 'working' on our own stuff - Jason really did work on a video for work and I  read for fun (I love post college life). I really love nights like this because we're able to be together, smile at each other, talk when we have something to say, but still do our own thing. It truly is one of the many gifts of married life. 

Look how handsome he looks sittin' behind his computer makin' that money ;)

After a while of working on our own stuff, we went to Target to get a new crock pot because, if you know me even a little bit you know that I can't live without a crock pot (first-world problems, I know). Thankfully, Jason saw the necessity in replacing this item and I'm very happy that he did :) 

Yay! It's exactly like the one I already had! I need a name for this guy.

After I had a little bit of protein, I felt a lot better. I didn't feel like I was going to pass out anymore, and I only got a little bit hungry right before bed. What was weird though, is that on Monday, I was craving a huge salad. Yesterday, I was craving watermelon. Thankfully, today I can eat both. 

Here's the big question of the day: What progress has been made so far?

Well, first of all, a lot of self-control has had to come into play since Monday. Going from eating whatever I wanted to eat to this really strict cleanse was tough - and I've had to depend on a lot of prayer, encouragement, talking to myself, and scripture reading to maintain self-control. It's also been a physical challenge, because, like I said, I spent 5 hours yesterday feeling like I might pass out. I'm happy that I've been able to rely upon God to provide strength and energy to get me through the last few days and to quiet my cravings for food. 

A little side note: This morning, the place that I am in my reading guide even led me to read about feasts! Now, you want to tell me that our God isn't sovereign over ever little detail of our lives?

Second, I've lost three pounds so far! I weighed myself Monday morning right after I woke up. I did the same thing this morning, and low and behold I was three pounds lighter. For some of you, you may be thinking, "What? That's nothing!" but for me it is. I think about all of those days that I woke up thinking I'd lost five, six, or seven pounds after eating really really good for a week or two and I'd only lost [maybe] one. So, I'm making a decision to focus on the fact that I've lost something! I've relied on God's strength and He's given me grace throughout the last few days. I give the praise to Him for the three pounds I've lost, and I will continue to give Him glory for whatever victories He allows me throughout this battle.

Hooray!!

Now, onto my morning...

So, remember how our fridge wasn't working yesterday? Well, apparently it was fixed before I got home yesterday.

This morning I came to a different conclusion. 

Notice the sheet of ice along the right side of the picture.

That's all I'll say about that.

I made a juice with 1 kiwi, about 6 strawberries, 1 orange, and some pineapple juice that we already had. It was pretty good, but left another weird aftertaste - I think it's the orange. 

I'm a fan of my "MRS." cup.

I also ate the leftover watermelon and cantaloupe from Monday that was sitting the the broken fridge - it was cold though, thankfully :)

Although yesterday I did have some very "gray" coffee, I'm trying to hold out this morning to see how I feel. For lunch I brought lettuce and an avocado to make a salad. I also packed 2 apples, and 2 snack baggies with orange slices, strawberries, and kiwi slices. 

Couldn't leave out the multivitamins that have been photo bombing
almost every picture from the cleanse so far!

Here's the run down of my food consuption yesterday:

Click the picture to make it readable.

Here are the totals of the breakdown of my caloric intake, carbs, fat, protein, fiber, and sugar:

Still...such a weird eating day.

Here's my massive, over-the-top water consumption from yesterday:

Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the cleanse! Keep on encouraging, keep on praying...2.5 days down!

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Well, this is awkward

When I decided to do Guthrie's bible reading plan, I also decided that I'd listen to the sermon from Brook Hills that coincides with the reading. A few years ago, Brook Hills walked through the bible in one year (following Guthrie's plan) and so there is one sermon per week of reading. Since I started attending Brook Hills about 2/3 of the way into this series, I wanted to get the full effect and go back and listen.

So, here I am sitting here listening to the sermon about Exodus, and I feel like a complete idiot. After my grumbling and complaining about reading about cubits and all of that stuff, this is what I hear:

"God was delivering His people. For what purpose? So that they might serve and worship Him. And what this is pointing us to today is that the ultimate purpose of salvation is worship. God saves us for worship. God delivers us for worship. Did you know almost 50 times in these first four books of the bible alone, almost 50 times, we see the phrase, and you see it over and over again in your reading, “[either you or they] will know that I am the Lord”. God is delivering His people for His glory. It’s the whole point of why, here at the end of Exodus, we have from chapter 25 all the way to chapter 40, with this brief little interlude in between that helps us understand worship, from chapter 25 to chapter 40 the majority of this portion of Exodus is all dealing with, what? It’s worship. It’s the tabernacle. It’s detail after detail after detail. You’re wondering why all these details are in here. Someone “twittered” me this week and said – yes, I have sold out to the Twitter world - so I got a tweet this week and someone in our faith family this week said, “Shekels, and cubits, and pillars, oh my! The tabernacle is the greatest!” This is the picture we’re reading through when we start to skim through some of those details, but the reality is God is prescribing how He is to be worshipped. It’s the point of why He has delivered them out. Worship of God is important to God. God is God-centered. God exalts God. And the beauty of Exodus, the beauty of the gospel is how God exalts His great name."
- David Platt, Where Glory Dwells
 

Source

I'm officially humbled. I just feel like I need to apologize for my post yesterday. While yes, I did end up confident that God was teaching me through my reading, I was extremely negative, and for that I am sorry. So, spend some time in worship today. Spend some time in Exodus. Spend some time in another part of His Word. Spend some time in prayer. Just, whatever you do this evening, make sure that you take advantage of the fact that because of Christ's death, we have the Spirit of God dwelling in us!

For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. Colossians 1:19-20

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The Exodus

I feel like I've been reading the book of Exodus forever. In reality, it's only been nine days, but it feels like I've been reading it in real time. I'm trying diligently to learn from it - but when cubits get involved, I feel like I need to go back to seminary (or have my former seminary-student roommate move back in with me for a few days). This morning I found myself  looking ahead to what's next (Leviticus) and wincing.

Before beginning this bible reading plan, I'd never read through Genesis from start to finish. In fact, I'd never read through any Old Testament book from start to finish. Now, I've read all of Genesis, all of Job, and I'm almost finished with Exodus. I learned A LOT in the first two books, and I've been praying for God to reveal things to me that I probably missed when I watched Prince of Egypt at age eight (just to clarify, that's a joke). I feel like an idiot for getting caught up on the technical side of one of the greatest stories in the bible - aside from the life of Christ. I'll even go so far as to say one of the greatest stories in all of history (secular history included). This is God making a covenant to His chosen people and getting them the heck out of harms way! He's delivering them. He's sanctifying their faith. He's giving us the most well known and important set of rules and biblical laws. Why can't I get into this book?

Before you start rolling your eyes at me, I will assure you that this post was not written for the sole purpose of just updating you on the book in the bible I've reached in my (slow moving) reading plan. I want to share how amazing our God is and how faithful He is.

I'm trying to finish up the book, Made to Crave, that I mentioned in one of my previous posts. As I was reading today, I came across this paragraph:

"A few years ago, the words portion control took on new meaning as I studied the book of Exodus and noted the curious emotional response God’s people had after Moses led them out of slavery in Egypt. They’d just seen God do miracle after miracle to help them escape their captors, but they panicked when it came to food. In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, 'If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.' Then the LORD said to Moses, 'I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.' (Exodus 16:2 – 4) In other words, God planned to use the Israelites’ food issues to teach them the valuable lesson of daily dependence on Him [this sounds familiar]. Don’t you love how applicable this is to us? Ancient biblical stories have taught me that history certainly has a way of repeating itself, so I’d be wise to pay attention. Because these recently freed Israelites continued to grumble against God and turn their hearts from Him, God took them on a forty-year detour. Instead of heading straight to the Promised Land of freedom, they had to wander in the desert for forty years while they learned how to truly depend on God. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to spend the next forty years of my life learning this lesson. I want to stop grumbling about my weight, apply this valuable training about God-dependence and portion control, and keep walking toward the victory that can be mine."
TerKeurst, Lysa (2010-12-21). Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food (pp. 131-132). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Wow, on a day when I woke up early, sat at my dining room table, struggled to read Exodus 33-36 and left asking God to please allow me to learn from my reading, this was a huge answered prayer! Maybe I'm too dense to see the reality of what God has been teaching me on my own, and I am thankful for the common grace of books and literature to wake me up with His truth.

So, today as you go through your routine, or go about the abnormalities that may or may not be causing you strife, take heart in the fact that we most certainly serve a faithful God. Even when we feel like our prayers are hitting the ceiling and we're just not getting it, not hearing Him, or whatever, He is with us. He is loving us. He is caring for us. Trust in His Word. Trust in His promises. Trust in His truth.

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The War Inside

I'm just going to warn you right now, buckle up because I'm probably going to reach a new level of rambling today. I've had the topic that I'm writing about on my mind for quite some time, and I feel like I've meditated on it enough that I finally have the courage to write about it.

I decided a couple of weeks ago that I have a theme song, at least a song for right now. I've mentioned before that I'm am overly affected by music and that it can really can steer my emotions. While I was on the treadmill about two weeks ago, The War Inside by Switchfoot came on. If you've never heard the song, it's really a great workout song, so I'd recommend adding that one to your playlist. But something about it just lit a fire inside of me...of about two days.

Isn't that how we are though? Don't we set our mind to something and we build up our determination, just to watch it crumble when it gets tough or uncomfortable? Maybe it's just me, but I'm pretty bad at sticking to things that are super tough, even when deep down I know that I want to.

Last week, for some reason I had these words swimming around in my head...all...week...long: "I do want I don't want to do and I don't do what I do want to  do." These words derived from the words of Paul in the New Testament when he wrote about his sin.

"For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am!" - Romans 7:14-24

Okay, so admittedly, I'm not the best at memorizing scripture word-for-word...but I had the gist of it rolling around in my brain for days.  

I keep setting my mind to things: eating good, sticking to Weight Watchers, working out on a daily basis, lowering my carb/sugar intake, not eating dessert, making healthy choices even when we're out, etc. I keep setting my mind to things and then at the drop of a hat, I just abandon them...even though I don't want to. I go for the ice cream, or I turn off my alarm in the morning, day after day after day. Obviously, I'm not saying that eating ice cream or sleeping until 7:00 rather than 6:00 is evil, like Paul is saying about his sin, I'm just saying that by my own strength, I cannot conquer any battle. 

As you've probably gathered by now from my blog, I really do hate putting bad things into my body. I really do hate going days at a time without working out. I really do want to be healthy and want to exercise. But than wretched sin that dwells within me goes against my better thoughts and desires and just takes over. 

I'd been really really hard on myself over the weekend. Jason was in a wedding so our dinners were provided to us at the wedding and rehearsal dinner, so it made it very difficult to stick to what I wanted to eat, which were healthy things (or at least healthier).

So there I was on Sunday afternoon, relaxing on the couch, and trying with everything inside of me to hold off on snacking and just wait until dinner. It was time to leave the apartment for church. Jason and I had been hanging out that afternoon, so we loaded into the car, and headed off. 

We made a few pit stops to turn in his tux from the wedding and also to peak into the new LOFT at the Summit (I'm a big fan by the way). While we were in LOFT, I tried on multiple items that didn't fit. I took the jeans that I really liked (but were one size to small) up to the register to see if they could get them from another store. The sales lady kindly told me that the size I had in my hands was the biggest size they carry in the store. Talk about humiliating. Talk about being really down on myself. Internally, I was a mess. 

Finally we arrived at church. I was so ready to just worship my Savior and Creator and just spend some concentrated time in corporate worship and study in His Word. Our executive pastor was the one preaching that day, and he told us to open our bibles to Romans 7. He explained that the text he would be preaching on that evening is very difficult to preach on, but absolutely necessary. The words he spoke could not have been more true. 

You see, he started out in Romans 7:14, which is where I had been kind of lingering all week long. But he did something that I had been failing to do...he kept reading. 

After Paul goes on and on about how dreadful this sin problem is, he says this:

"Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." - Romans 7:25-8:2

[Here's the part that's hard for me to admit]

During his sermon, the pastor then said something that truly cut me to the core and convicted me in a way that I haven't been convicted in quite a while. 

I'm so bad about comparing myself to other people. Maybe it's the way the look and I figure out if I'm bigger than them, smaller than them, or the same. Maybe it's looking at someone's lifestyle or choices and knowing that they're walking an outwardly sinful life and concluding that I'm probably better off because most sin that I have (and I do realize that we ALL sin) in usually more inward. I'm very quick to just brush off my lack of self-control or my readiness to give up at something as me just "accepting myself the way I am". And while I do think it's important to know and understand that God has created each of us and we are His workmanship, my tendencies are nothing less than sin. 

 Here's what he said (this isn't word-for-word, but it's the best I could remember when I was jotting it all down): "We may look down the road and say to ourselves, 'Well, at least I'm not a drug addict like my neighbor over there.' But if we are growing Christians, we should look at ourselves in the mirror and say, 'I'm worse, I'm a a believer and I'm a pride addict, or a stuff addict, or a food addict.'" 


May I recognize the sin in my life and call it what it is. May I do so, not to be self-deprecating, but the be a growing believer.


I know that most of you have probably had that Sunday when you're sitting in the congregation minding your own business and then the pastor decides to basically call you out (not literally, but you feel like it). I have had many occasion such as this, and Sunday evening was definitely one of those times. I wanted to stand up and just say, "I get it, God! Thank you! Thank you God for saving me even me!"

I am set free by the blood of Jesus Christ. It doesn't matter what I do or how hard I try, I can never accomplish or defeat a battle without Him. 

“The Christian life is a life of continual struggle, of victories and defeats, and Christian victory comes only when we totally distrust self, and rely on the provision of God. How frequently we throw works out the front door of justification, and invite them in the back door of sanctification.” - John Stott 

This weekend I was reminded that there is a "war inside". There's a battle for my soul. But I take refuge in the fact that I also have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of my soul. I am His, therefore there is no battle that will not be won.  

[Worry] Warts are Gross

When I was in 4th grade I had to create a business as a school project. Our entire classroom was covered in upside down refrigerator boxes for about a month. I don't remember the name of our business, but I do know that at first our business failed. 

Then, we learned about worry dolls. 

My mom taught my friend and me how to make worry dolls out of clothespins. We made hundreds of them, and they sold so well! In the end, we didn't fail.

Source

Ironically, we didn't fail this project because worry exists in the world. In fact, not only does it exist, it is ever present and prevalent in our lives. 

Last week I introduced you all to the book I'm reading called Calm my Anxious Heart. Well, I'm finally on chapter nine. I took me a day and night to finish chapter eight. Yes, I'm a slow reader, but it took me so long because I truly struggled through the chapter called, "Worry is not a Rocking Chair".

If you've ever taken the Myers Briggs personality test, you'll know what I mean when I say that I'm very much a "J". I'm convinced that this personality trait, plus the fact that I'm a sinner living in fallen world, leaves me with a lot of worry. As Jason says, I'm a "worrier". 

This is me way too often.
Source

This chapter of the book went all military on me (meaning that it broke me down and then eventually it built me back up). When the author, Linda Dillow, did a study on the topic of worry among women, she found that women worry about these things the most:

• Money
• Parenting
• Marriage
• Health
• Job security
• Weight
• Threats

Here are the reasons why women worry about these things:

• The world is out of control
• Families are out of control
• My life is out of control

Like Linda, I can definitely identity with these women, but for me, this list of reasons begs the question:

Who IS in control?

As I've already stated in a previous post, we know that God is in control.

In the book, Linda places a quote at the beginning of this chapter.

"George Müller said, 'The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith. The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.'  All our fret and worry are caused by calculating without God."*

When she wrote, "We say with one breath that we trust God and with the next breath how worried we are! Worry and anxiety give a small thing a big shadow, and this shadow creates problems, not just in the soul and spirit, but in the body,"**

When I read this yesterday, I felt like Linda could see into my filthy, unfaithful heart.

How many of us do this? How many of us sit at church and nod our heads and sing and worship, go to bible study and live out our "good Christian life", but then when we are alone or when one thing doesn't go our way, we freak out and ask God why he's doing this to us? I know that I am so very guilty of this.

I could probably write a book myself just on this topic alone. I could go on and on about how the only thing that God has done for us is send his perfect and holy Son to die on the cross for our sins. I could state that we are all hypocrites and in the middle of circumstances that are less than ideal, we should cling to the cross rather than blame the Sacrifice. I might even would add that if God gave us what we deserve, we probably would be a lot more upset about where we'd all end up.

But, I'm not a preacher. I'm just a girl who writes a blog to share with those of you who read it about what I'm walking through in my life. So, keeping that in mind, I will fall back into line and tell you all that I fail at not being anxious and not worrying each and every day. I fail miserably.

(And here it is folks, the call to action. You must have known by now that it was coming soon)

If you feel like you may identify with this, if you, like me, are a chronic worrier, here is some truthes that are so obvious, but sometimes so difficult to truly embrace.

• Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.**

• Perhaps the most striking characteristic of worry is its absolute impotence. Worry never changes a single thing except the worrier.**

• Worry is definitely counterproductive. Like our earlier illustration of a rocking chair, it doesn’t get us anywhere, but at least it gives us something to do, and women like to do something!***

• 1 Peter 5: 6-7 gave us an alternative to carrying the anxiety ourselves. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."****

Source

May we cling to the truths of scripture.

May we pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). May with cast our anxiety on the Lord (1 Peter 5:6-7). May we be strong in Christ and not fear what circumstances come our way (Isaiah 35:3-5).  May we recognize that God has placed us here for a purpose, not just to survive (Matthew 6:25). May we not be anxious about tomorrow (Matthew 6:33-34). May we lift our voices in prayer instead of wasting away our days being anxious and worrying about things that God is sovereign over (Philippians 4:5-7).

Source

 
 Enough rambling for now...that picture was worth all the rest of my words (so stinkin' cute, right?). 

Prayer Focus for the Day: May we ask God to lead us to a place where we do not worry and we solely rely upon him for his provision. May we ask him to place people in our lives who can encourage us in this area of worry and anxiety. May we also ask God to place us in others' lives to be someone who is an encouragement to them.





****Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 116). Navpress. Kindle Edition. 

***Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 114). Navpress. Kindle Edition.

**Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 113). Navpress. Kindle Edition.

*Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 108). Navpress. Kindle Edition.  

A Prayer of Contentment

I know you're thinking, "What?!?!? Two posts in one day? I don't have time for this kind of rambling, Jessica." But I promise that you will not be disappointed. If you never read anything else that I write, please read this post (mostly because it's mostly written by someone else).


I'm reading the book a book called Calm my Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow*. The book was actually recommended to me by a blog reader and friend after I posted the confessions post a few weeks ago. I have thoroughly enjoyed this book thus far (I'm only on chapter three...but I'm a slow reader).


This excerpt of the book is coming from Psalm 139. Take few minutes to read it (by clicking the link) and then read this quote from the book. You will not regret it!

According to Psalm 139, God not only created your personality, He also gave you your body. Verse 15 reads, “My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth” (NASB).

In Hebrew, the word translated wrought means “embroidered.” It was the same Hebrew word used to refer to the skillful and artistic needlework in the curtains of the Old Testament tabernacle. When God fashioned you in your mother’s womb (described in the psalm as “the depths of the earth”), He embroidered with great skill. Although no one else could see you, God saw every detail of the formation of your body. As a weaver intricately embroiders colors together to create a beautiful pattern, God knit together your veins, muscles, nerves, and every curve and indentation that is uniquely yours. What tapestry can begin to equal the human fabric?

Perhaps you think other female tapestry is beautiful, but not yours. “I don’t like my nose, my hips, my breasts. In fact I really don’t like much about me.” All of us could list things we’d like changed about ourselves. But if we are displeased with our physical form, we’re really arguing with He is responsible for the color of our hair and the size of our nose and whether we have cellulite.

I’m not surprised that so many women struggle over their personal appearance. The values of our American culture are warped. We’re constantly bombarded with pressure created by the media to have a “perfect” body. This emphasis is wrong and unbiblical. As Christian women, we know this perspective is twisted, yet how easy it is to get caught up in the deadly disease of comparison.

My husband, Jody, believes that women look at other women more than men look at women. This may sound strange, but I think he’s right. We women analyze, scrutinize, and compare to see how we stack up to the supermodel in her skimpy bathing suit. I never come out looking very good. When we compare ourselves with others, we’re told we are without understanding. The Living Bible says we are “stupid” (2 Corinthians 10: 12).

Several years ago I read an article by the Reverend James Hufstetler** that put the comparison game in perspective.

You will never really enjoy other people, you will never have stable emotions, you will never lead a life of godly contentment, you will never conquer jealousy and love others as you should until you thank God for making you the way He did.

God wants each of us to praise Him for His workmanship in creating us.

George MacDonald***, the man C. S. Lewis called his mentor, wrote,

I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God’s thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.


This is a prayer of contentment.

*Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content . Navpress. Kindle Edition. 

**James Hufstetler, “On Knowing Oneself,” The Banner of Truth 280 (January 1987), p. 13.


***by J. R. Miller in a printed message, “Finding One’s Mission” (Swengel, PA: Peiner Publications, n.d.), p. 2.

Both Ends of the Rainbow

Good morning everyone! Today is a special day...especially for me!

Today, I turn 23. It's the first of my "adult" birthdays. I know that people say that you're an "adult" when you turn 18, and then some people say you're an "adult" when you turn 21, but I don't believe any of that boondoggle. In my opinion, you're an "adult" when you go to work on your birthday.

Don't get me wrong, I could have asked off for today, but the truth is I kind of wanted to come to work. I have great friends at work and I love being around people on my birthday. It's also hard for me to take a lot of vacation days pre-wedding.

I even got some presents! Folger's Vanilla Biscotti, Summit gift card, cute earings, and a summer scarf!

I'm super blessed to have great friends at work.

I also realized this morning that this is the last  birthday that I'll ever have as Jessica Sansom. Next year, I'll be married woman and rockin' a new last name!

I'm super excited to celebrate with Jason and some more friends tonight! Stay tuned for that post tomorrow :)

Now it's time to backtrack to Saturday night-Sunday. I'm still trying to get my blogging schedule down pat, so you'll have to bear with me on the weekends for now.

Saturday night:

 I made some cookies to welcome Jason home and also to give to my sweet next door neighbor. Mr. Fritsch (my neighbor) is in his 80s and his wife just passed away a couple of months ago. I try to give him some sort of goodies and a note just to let him know that I'm thinking about him and praying for him whenever I can.

Cookies and Cream Cookies (recipe adapted from Lovin' from the Oven blog):

Yields 24 Cookies

Ingredients

• 1 stick softened margarine
• 6 Tablespoons Stevia in the Raw
• 6 Tablespoons brown sugar
• 2 egg whites
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 ¼ cup flour
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon salt substitute
• 11 broken pieces Oreo Cookies
• 1 cup milk chocolate chips

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cream butter, and sugars until well combined. Add egg and vanilla until mixed well.  
2. Place flour, baking soda and salt into a large bowl, stir to combine. Slowly add dry ingredients to wet ingredients then stir in the Oreos and chocolate chips until just combined. 
3. With a medium spoon, scoop onto baking sheet. Bake for 10 minutes or until cooked, but still soft.
4. Let cool on baking sheet for 3 minutes before transferring to cooling rack. 

Each cookie came in at about 56 calories. Not too shabby for a yummy treat!

The outcome = delicious 

Sunday:

The day had finally arrived. Jason was coming home for good! I woke up thinking that I was going to be late picking him up, but in actuality, I woke up about three hours too early. Oh well. Better early than late, right?

I took it slow, ate some breakfast (boiled egg), drank my coffee (yum), and did the 30 Day Shred (ouch). Then I hopped in the shower and headed to Montgomery where I was supposed to be meeting the buses. 

I arrived about 30 minutes before they did, so I hit up Ross Dress for Less. I had a successful little shopping trip. I walked out of there with a new welcome mat and wreath for the front door, a can opener, new lunch box, and a dress for less than $60. 

Finally, I got the call. The bus had decided to stop at a different exit, so they dropped Jason off at a Raceway gas station. A few minutes later, he was in my car and we were headed off to lunch!

We decided to get back on the road, so we stopped for lunch in Prattville. I was being a very indecisive eater, but we (I) finally settled on McAllister's Deli. 

Jason went with the French Dip with macaroni and cheese while I rocked the Veggie Club with fruit. 

When we finally made it back to Birmingham, we just relaxed and hung out. I couldn't believe that he was home for good and we didn't have to squish a whole week's worth of time together into two or three days. It was seriously so nice just to chill. 

After a little relaxing, we got ready for church. While we were driving there, we came across the most amazing rainbow I've ever seen. 

It looked like we could see the beginning of it and we drove under its perfect arch. I was just reminded of God's promises, which I know might be a bit cliche, but who cares. We serve a Savior who is faithful to the promises in his Word. 

Birmingham rainbow - the beginning

I sent a picture to my sister Carlee, and she sent this back to me.

Destin rainbow - the ending

We were five hours away from each other, but connected by rainbows. God is truly amazing.

At church, I felt so blessed to be able to dive into God's word specifically referring to a place where I am in life. The sermon was on Matthew 19, which is primarily about divorce. But, being engaged, it was necessary to truly listen and get everything I could out of it because to be divorced, you have to first be married. The whole entire sermon I kept thinking to myself, "I must be a wife who depends on solely on the Lord. My marriage must reflect Christ."

 I've heard him say it multiple times, but when David Platt said, "Take heed lest you fall," it pierced my heart like never before.

After church we grabbed dinner with  some friends who we haven't spent a lot of time with lately. It was so wonderful to reconnect with them! 

When we got home, Jason came over for a little bit. We had so much fun just talking and laughing. Like I said, it's really nice to just be able to hang out and relax. I don't like feeling rushed. 

Welp, that's about it as far as my weekend goes.

I did find out this fun fact today: 

Yes, while this was happening, I was being born. What a wonderful day May 7, 1989 truly was :)

Instead of rambling on, I'll leave you with a gift...

For all of you fellow Nutella lovers, here you go.