Directions, Losses, and Gains

What a week it has been. I apologize that I've been so extremely random in my blogging habits lately. Things have been busy!

So... a couple of updates:

• The wedding is now 74 days away!
• Every time I sit down at home, I think of about 5 things I should be doing.
• I have no idea what I'll talk to people (or Jason)about after September 22nd.
• Pre-marital counseling is awesome. 
• I haven't lost any weight on WW, even though I've stuck to the plan 100%.
• My dress is getting about seven inches of length cut off of it as we speak.
• I need to work out my arms.
• I have a lot of new recipes that I've been trying. 
• Jason turns 26 in two weeks. 
• My dad turns 50 tomorrow.
• I feel like I'm constantly doing laundry.
• I'm okay with the fact that I'm constantly doing laundry.
• I'm learning to be comfortable in my own skin.
• I think I know what I want to be when I grow up.
• I have no clue how to be what I want to be when I grow up.
• I'm reading three books at one time.
• I'm frustrated with WW.
• I'm thankful for WW.
• I hate carbs.

I think that about sums it all up. 

Here are my latest eats:

Chicken Skillet

Normal lunch for me

Saturday morning breakfast

Chicken roll ups with Tzatziki sauce.

Chicken Skillet (adapted from Betty Crocker recipe):
Yields 4 servings
Ingredients

• 1 tbsp vegetable oil
• 1 1/4 pounds boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
• 1/2 diced red peppers 
• 1/2 chopped red onions
• 1 can reduced sodium black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 cup Old El Paso® Thick 'n Chunky salsa
• 1 Old El Paso® flour tortilla for burritos (8 inch) (from 11.5-ounce package), cut into 2x1-inch strips
• 4 oz. low-fat shredded Cheddar cheese 

Directions

1. In 10-inch skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Cook chicken in oil 3 to 4 minutes, stirring occasionally, until no longer pink in center.
2. Stir in vegetables, beans and salsa; reduce heat to medium. Cover and cook 6 to 8 minutes, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are crisp-tender.
3. Sprinkle with tortilla strips and cheese. Cover and cook about 2 minutes or until cheese is melted. 

Chicken Roll Ups (adapted from Dashing Dish recipe):
Ingredients:
for the chicken

• 1/2 lb. boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 tsp. Italian seasoning
• 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
• 1/4 tsp. pepper
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 2 tbsp. lemon juice
• 1 tbsp. EVOO
• 2 tbsp. water

for the Tzatziki sauce 

• 1/2 c. 0% fat plain Greek yogurt
• 1/2 medium cucumber, grated and squeezed dry
• 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1 tsp. lemon juice  

for the pita toppings

• High fiber/low carb tortillas (or pita) 
• Reduced fat feta cheese, crumbled

Directions:

1. Place all of the ingredients for the chicken in the crock pot and cook on low for 6-8 hours.
2. To make the sauce, start by grating the cucumber over a small bowl. Blot the excess moisture with a paper towel until dry.
3. Add the yogurt, garlic, salt, and vinegar to the grated cucumber. Whisk until everything is well combined. Cover and refrigerate until serving (I put mine in a medium sized mason jar and kept the excess for other meals).
4. Place one sliced chicken breast onto each tortilla or pita bread. Top each with 1/4 cup yogurt mixture, feta, and onion if desired. Roll pita over chicken, and enjoy!

A look at my "Normal Lunch":

• 2 oz. of low fat or fat free turkey w/ something on top (1/2 avocado, honey mustard, etc.)
• 1 oz. of low fat cheese
• Sugar free jello cup
• Dannon Light & Fit yogurt (or Publix fat free yogurt)
• Something green
• Fruit 

A look at my "Saturday Breakfast":

I try to keep my breakfasts small, but it really is my favorite meal of the day. On Saturdays, I try to make it special by spending time actually cooking breakfast. This usually consists of a an egg and some fruit. On a weekday morning, I usually eat a boiled egg, 4 oz. of 2% cottage cheese, or a 0% Greek yogurt.

I hope you all feel slightly more caught up on the happenings of my food world (and I guess my world in general). I'll be expanding on some of those things I listed at the beginning throughout the week. But for today, I'm done rambling.

 

	P.S. Who is team 1 "f" Jef and who is team Arie? Ready...go!

Ever & Never Changing

When I started writing consistently, my primary focus was to share about my battle with food that I've struggled with for years and years. I've never labeled myself as a "writer" and I've never labeled this blog as a "health blog" or a "food blog". That was intentional. So I apologize, because even though I do have a recipe to share with all of you (complete with pictures), I'm not going to write about food today.

Life is messy and life is full of surprises. Some good, some bad, and some just...well...surprising. We grow, sometimes willfully and sometimes not so willfully. We stretch beyond our comfort zone through life transitions. And sometimes, we avoid transition at all costs.

Sometimes I'd really appreciate one of these!
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Usually, I'm pretty good with big change. My sister graduating high school has made me reminisce on my own high school graduation, and I didn't even cry about it once. I was super involved in my high school and I loved every moment of it, but I was ready for the the transition from high school to college. Graduating from college was tough because I loved Samford, my friends, and my college life so much, but in the end, I don't recall it being that difficult. I knew it was time to transition out of college and into the world.

Our lives are full of little changes and transitions, and if I'm honest, I don't deal with those as well as I do the big stuff. I think I handle the big stuff more gracefully because of the day-to-day plans that I make and the schedule I cling to. When I lose control of my day-to-day plans, I lose control of everything.

I am constantly reminded that I am not in control. I've written about it before. But when it feels like everything around me is in transition, and I'm having to get used to new thing after new thing, I put a death grip on my day-to-day plans -- I put a death grip on my ability to control.

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Lately, it seems as though nothing is the same day-to-day. Each day there's something new or something different. I'm combining the life that I've been building for 23 years with a man who's been building a separate life for 25 years. Do I want that? OF COURSE! I want nothing more than to get married on September 22nd to the man of my dreams, so please don't think I'm complaining. But I must admit (not for the first time and probably not for the last): this transition stuff is hard work.

Throughout this process, I know that God is sanctifying and stretching me. He's teaching me to die to myself. He's teaching me to let go of my comforts. He's teaching me to let someone else lead. He's teaching me to see the big picture, to gain some perspective rather than live in this valley of the unknown.
I know that scripture tells me each of these things is good and of the Lord. But scripture also teaches me about change.

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Scripture tells us that change in us is a good thing. 

When we become believers, the bible tells us that we are made new. 
"From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 Corinthians 5:16-17 

"I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed." - 1 Corinthians 15:50-52

God changes things according to His sovereign plan for us.

“Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,
     to whom belong wisdom and might.
He changes times and seasons;
     he removes kings and sets up kings;
he gives wisdom to the wise
     and knowledge to those who have understanding;
he reveals deep and hidden things;
     he knows what is in the darkness,
     and the light dwells with him."

 - Daniel 2:20-22

Our hearts are changed when we call upon the name of the Lord. 
“For at that time I will change the speech of the peoples
    to a pure speech,
that all of them may call upon the name of the Lord
    and serve him with one accord."
- Zephaniah 3:9  

Jesus' birth, life, ministry, death, and resurrection changed the course of history for the rest of eternity.  
"and they set up false witnesses who said, “This man never ceases to speak words against this holy place and the law, for we have heard him say that this Jesus of Nazareth will destroy this place and will change the customs that Moses delivered to us.” And gazing at him, all who sat in the council saw that his face was like the face of an angel." - Acts 6:13-15

Scripture also tells us that there is One who will never change.

“For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed." - Malachi 3:6

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." - Hebrews 13:8


How glorious it is to know that God is sovereign over the change and transitions in our lives, and that will never change!! 

 

Loose Ends

Whenever I finish something that I've started, I always feel really good about myself. I feel accomplished. I feel productive.

On the flip-side of that, whenever I have things that are left undone, I feel like a have this thing hanging over me and staring me in the face. I have to finish it. I have to be done. I can't stand loose ends.

Well, last night I finally finished the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. As I laid in bed trying to go to sleep, I felt accomplished and productive. I felt like I'd done something good and deserved a pat on the back, even if it was just from myself. Then I rolled over and looked at my bookshelves full of books that I've started and never finished, or purchased and never looked at after my credit card was swiped. Now I know what I'll be doing this summer!

Source

I definitely recommend Linda's book to - well anyone. It is scripture based and it thoroughly covers so many of the insecurities and questions that we, as women tend to face almost daily. There is also a 12-week study guide in the back and I'm praying through whether or not I should put together some sort of book study to cover this material. It was so full of truth and overall, it was encouraging. So many times I find myself reading books like that and either realizing that they're not rooted in the Word or concluding that I feel more discouraged after I've finished reading.

Now onto a section of this post that I'd like to title: Please Pray for Jessica

Yesterday was a big day for me. It was an ordinary day, but it carried a lot of underlying things that are pretty big and tied up a lot of loose ends.

First, yesterday marked four months until Jason and I get married. When I looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:00 p.m. (which is the time that our ceremony will start), I wanted to get up and dance. Lucky for everyone in my wing at work, I did not.

Second, Jason and I (well, mostly I) were able to get everything prepared with our new washer and dryer. Since we bought them used, they needed to be cleaned up and we're actually selling the pedestals that they came with (if you're in the market for front loading washer and dryer pedestals, hit me up). I spent some time last night with Clorox in hand spraying down every inch of those suckers. They are now Jessica-sized (thanks to Jason and his mad un-bolting skills) and they are clean! Loose end tied.

As you can tell, I'm excited about hooking these puppies up. It's the first big purchase that Jason and I have made together, so I think it's fair that I'm this excited, right?

Next, I went to a general practitioner for the first time since I last saw my pediatrician (so roughly 5 years). Jason got his name from a friend of ours (thanks Lacey) and he went to see him last summer when he was struggling with his milk allergy. The doctor was wonderful and spent lots of time with Jason walking him through what steps they'd need to take for him to get better in time for the Fall tour. I read a lot of reviews about him online, and every single review said the same thing - he spends as much time as you  need in the room with you and he doesn't rush through the exam. I figured that establishing a family doctor in Birmingham was somewhat of another loose end that needed to be taken care of.

Well, he definitely lived up to his reputation. I really just wanted to get established with a doctor here, but I also haven't talked to a doctor about my insulin resistance since I was 17 or 18-years-old. A lot has changed since then in my life, my surroundings, and in my body.

He talked to me for a while and then he said that they were going to do some blood work. He asked me some questions about things that are symptoms of diabetes. I'd told him that I was getting married in September and he told me that it's really good that I came in because many of the things I had questions about, if left untreated, could lead to infertility down the road. Obviously, Jason and I are planning on adopting at least once in our lives, so infertility doesn't scare me as much as some, but I still don't want to have to deal with it. I'd like to be able to have biological kids too.

Then came the biggie - he put me on a diet plan. I wasn't offended or worried like I probably would have been a couple of yeas ago. I wanted him to do that. I wanted to know if I'm doing the right things, if I'm doing things wrong, and if I'm doing things that will be effective in creating a healthier lifestyle for myself.

As it turns out, I'm definitively on the right path. He told me to be exercising consistently and to aim to eat about 1,200 calories a day. He said that due to the insulin resistance, he's going to put me on a low carb/low fat diet. I'm allowed 120 grams of carbohydrates per day and about 32 grams of fat per day.

I plugged all of this new information into the myfitnesspal.com app that I have on my iPhone and went to get my blood work done.

Here's where I'm asking for prayer: my blood work.

I've had blood work done tons of times, but this is really the first time I've been worried about it. I'm 23-years-old and so far I haven't been able to lose weight eating a normal healthy diet and exercising pretty consistently. I have a history of diabetes in my family and I am at a higher risk for it because of the insulin resistance. I'm praying that my blood work has answers but that the results don't contain something wrong with me (aka diabetes). Please pray for self-control and determination with eating according to the doctor's rules as well as consistency in my exercising routine. Overall, pray that I would not forget for a second that God is in control regardless of my circumstances and this is a battle that he's already won.

Thank you all so much in advance for your prayers. Stay tuned for more about the diet plan and the results of my  blood work.

Let me quit rambling so that we can all turn to our Savior in prayer today.

[Worry] Warts are Gross

When I was in 4th grade I had to create a business as a school project. Our entire classroom was covered in upside down refrigerator boxes for about a month. I don't remember the name of our business, but I do know that at first our business failed. 

Then, we learned about worry dolls. 

My mom taught my friend and me how to make worry dolls out of clothespins. We made hundreds of them, and they sold so well! In the end, we didn't fail.

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Ironically, we didn't fail this project because worry exists in the world. In fact, not only does it exist, it is ever present and prevalent in our lives. 

Last week I introduced you all to the book I'm reading called Calm my Anxious Heart. Well, I'm finally on chapter nine. I took me a day and night to finish chapter eight. Yes, I'm a slow reader, but it took me so long because I truly struggled through the chapter called, "Worry is not a Rocking Chair".

If you've ever taken the Myers Briggs personality test, you'll know what I mean when I say that I'm very much a "J". I'm convinced that this personality trait, plus the fact that I'm a sinner living in fallen world, leaves me with a lot of worry. As Jason says, I'm a "worrier". 

This is me way too often.
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This chapter of the book went all military on me (meaning that it broke me down and then eventually it built me back up). When the author, Linda Dillow, did a study on the topic of worry among women, she found that women worry about these things the most:

• Money
• Parenting
• Marriage
• Health
• Job security
• Weight
• Threats

Here are the reasons why women worry about these things:

• The world is out of control
• Families are out of control
• My life is out of control

Like Linda, I can definitely identity with these women, but for me, this list of reasons begs the question:

Who IS in control?

As I've already stated in a previous post, we know that God is in control.

In the book, Linda places a quote at the beginning of this chapter.

"George Müller said, 'The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith. The beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.'  All our fret and worry are caused by calculating without God."*

When she wrote, "We say with one breath that we trust God and with the next breath how worried we are! Worry and anxiety give a small thing a big shadow, and this shadow creates problems, not just in the soul and spirit, but in the body,"**

When I read this yesterday, I felt like Linda could see into my filthy, unfaithful heart.

How many of us do this? How many of us sit at church and nod our heads and sing and worship, go to bible study and live out our "good Christian life", but then when we are alone or when one thing doesn't go our way, we freak out and ask God why he's doing this to us? I know that I am so very guilty of this.

I could probably write a book myself just on this topic alone. I could go on and on about how the only thing that God has done for us is send his perfect and holy Son to die on the cross for our sins. I could state that we are all hypocrites and in the middle of circumstances that are less than ideal, we should cling to the cross rather than blame the Sacrifice. I might even would add that if God gave us what we deserve, we probably would be a lot more upset about where we'd all end up.

But, I'm not a preacher. I'm just a girl who writes a blog to share with those of you who read it about what I'm walking through in my life. So, keeping that in mind, I will fall back into line and tell you all that I fail at not being anxious and not worrying each and every day. I fail miserably.

(And here it is folks, the call to action. You must have known by now that it was coming soon)

If you feel like you may identify with this, if you, like me, are a chronic worrier, here is some truthes that are so obvious, but sometimes so difficult to truly embrace.

• Worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.**

• Perhaps the most striking characteristic of worry is its absolute impotence. Worry never changes a single thing except the worrier.**

• Worry is definitely counterproductive. Like our earlier illustration of a rocking chair, it doesn’t get us anywhere, but at least it gives us something to do, and women like to do something!***

• 1 Peter 5: 6-7 gave us an alternative to carrying the anxiety ourselves. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."****

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May we cling to the truths of scripture.

May we pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). May with cast our anxiety on the Lord (1 Peter 5:6-7). May we be strong in Christ and not fear what circumstances come our way (Isaiah 35:3-5).  May we recognize that God has placed us here for a purpose, not just to survive (Matthew 6:25). May we not be anxious about tomorrow (Matthew 6:33-34). May we lift our voices in prayer instead of wasting away our days being anxious and worrying about things that God is sovereign over (Philippians 4:5-7).

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 Enough rambling for now...that picture was worth all the rest of my words (so stinkin' cute, right?). 

Prayer Focus for the Day: May we ask God to lead us to a place where we do not worry and we solely rely upon him for his provision. May we ask him to place people in our lives who can encourage us in this area of worry and anxiety. May we also ask God to place us in others' lives to be someone who is an encouragement to them.





****Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 116). Navpress. Kindle Edition. 

***Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 114). Navpress. Kindle Edition.

**Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 113). Navpress. Kindle Edition.

*Dillow, Linda (2012-01-05). Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Finding Contentment with Bonus Content (p. 108). Navpress. Kindle Edition.