Watch It! : A Where I'm Going Update

So, remember how I've always battled my weight and how I identified a couple of months ago that it's a mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual battle that I've had to deal with? Well, that's still extremely true.

When I was going into ninth grade, my mom joined Weight Watchers and lost a good bit of weight. Since she's the one who bought the groceries and made dinner each night, I learned a lot about the program and I lost some weight as well. Since then, I've tried Weight Watchers a couple of times, but I always have a terrible attitude toward it for some reason.

I think that I've identified that Weight Watchers is a strict program that actually works if you do it right, which is true. I think that in the past I've always blamed the program for my weight gain/battle rather than myself and my lack of self-control.

Over the last couple of years, a couple of people in my life (including my dad) have done WW and had some pretty significant success from it. Over the last few years, I've attributed the fact that WW doesn't take sugars/carbs into consideration as my reason for not getting back on the program.

Obviously, things have evolved from 2004 and now WW does take sugars/carbs into consideration. Even though I knew this, I've still used the same excuse for the last year or so.

Last Thursday while we were at camp, we were going around telling everyone (who asked) that our wedding is "three months from tomorrow [Friday]". Then at lunch, someone who I've worked with there told me that a whole group of girls that work for the organization are doing WW together and if I ever wanted to do it and needed a support group, I could join them.

I don't know what really was the exact straw that broke the camel's back, but something did. I could just feel the door opening for me and God pushing me through it. I could feel Him telling me that this is a weapon I can use in this spiritual battle that I have been fighting for the last 15 years. And it just so happens that the sign up fee for a three month WW online subscription was waved through the weekend.

I asked Jason for this thoughts, and he obviously said he thought it was a good idea if it's something I feel like I need to do (he's the best). So, starting this past Sunday, I'm a Weight Watchers online member :)

I have to admit that it's been a tough couple of days, especially while we were traveling home 8.5 hours. Anytime I start something like this its hard, and it even becomes emotional for me because this is a mental/emotional/physical/spiritual thing. Over the past couple of days, I've doubted, I've wanted to eat my feelings (and I did until I finally stopped myself), and I've been ashamed.

I was ashamed that I'm not happy with myself three months before my wedding. As each month goes by, I want to feel more like I'm closer to looking/feeling the way I would like to look/feel on September 22nd, but so far I haven't. I'm ashamed that I'm having to start something new so close to that day; so ashamed that I almost didn't write this post today.

But I realize that I need prayer and support. This blog has served as an avenue for me to receive just that. It's also served as accountability for me over the last few months, and I'm definitely a stronger person because of all of you reading this thing.

So, as I embark on this little adventure over the next three months, I am hoping that you'll keep me in your thoughts and prayers. If you find good WW recipes, send them my way! And if you've had a WW success story (or know one), send that my way as well!

Happy 50th!

As you all know, yesterday was Father's Day. I was so excited that Jason and I got the privilege of spending this Father's Day with Jason's dad. Although we had a great time, I missed my dad a lot.

My dad turns 50 in a couple of weeks (sorry Dad, secrets out). So, in honor of his upcoming birthday and Father's Day, I'm dedicating my 50th blog post to him!

My dad is such a trooper. He has three daughters and a wife. Sometimes a family of all girls will end up having some girly-girls and some kind of sporty-girls. Not my family...we're all girly.

My parents on Thanksgiving. My dad made the carrot cake from scratch!

My dad has spent thousands of hours shopping with us. He's spend hundreds of hours at dance recitals and competitions. He also randomly comes home with chocolate (good tip for any husband/father out there, come home with chocolate). My dad is from a family of four boys and one girl. All of the boys were very athletic and they love sports! I played soccer in elementary school and then hung up my cleats for point shoes. Carlee and Julia took a brief swing at softball, but again, they traded in their bats for jazz booties, sparkly outfits, and even some voice lessons for theater.

The night Jason and I got engaged. My dad getting in on the conversation.

But, my dad and I do have a special connection - college football. Alongside all of the many hours my dad has spent doing girly things, we've also logged a good bit of time watching college football together. My sisters don't get that into it, and sometimes my mom watches with us, but college football is something my dad and I have always watched together. Just thinking about this makes me wish that football season would hurry up and get here!

A few weeks ago a man who works near me brought his daughter to work. It was so cute to see them interact for an hour or two before the work day ended. I texted my dad and told him about it, and how I remember going to work with him as a child. I am so thankful for all of the memories that we have shared, and will share in the future.

To sum it all up, my dad is a blessing. He has shown me such an wonderful example of what it looks like to be a serving husband who reveres the Lord and loves well. He's shown me what it means to be a gentle dad who can lead a family through humble leadership. He's shown me what it means to be a servant and a provider for a family. He's shown me what it looks like to sacrifice for your children, to go cling to the gospel of Jesus Christ, to always pray first, and to live a life that consistently demonstrates God's love to everyone (even when it's hard).

One of the ways I knew Jason was the guy for me is I thought about what our lives could look like down the road and what our (very) future children might say about him. I could imagine them saying things that are similar to what I say about my dad. They say that many times girls marry men who have similar qualities of their dad, and I sure do see so many reflections of my dad's character in Jason. I am blessed that both of the men who will lead me share the qualities that make them each indescribably wonderful.

I really wanted to put a picture of my dad and I when I bought my dress, but Jason reads my blog...Hey Jason!

As excited as I am about the wedding in September, I think that I am more excited that I get to start a life with a man who is a servant, a provider, self-sacrificing, gospel centered, always praying, and loving. When my dad gives me a way, I'm confident that he'll have no doubt that he's giving me away to a man very much like himself.

Anyway, Happy Father's Day, Dad (sorry this is a day late)!

My dad and I when I graduated for Samford. That was such an exciting day!

...and Roll Tide :)