I'm a pretty passionate person. Some might say that I'm extreme. Not extreme as in weird (although I'm probably quite weird), but extreme as in I'm always one extreme or the other. If I decide that I'm going to do something or be a part of something, there's absolutely no turning back; I'm on board and I don't do things halfway. On the other hand, if I don't really care about something or if I don't think an idea is good, it's very obvious and it makes it really hard to for me to ever compromise (something I'm working on, trust me).
One thing that I've been passionate about since I've been a believer is pouring into other women - or young women. I have to admit that I haven't done this as much as I've wanted to since I've graduated from college, but I love it. I was an RA for three years in college and being able to sit up at 4:00 in the morning and listen to one of my residents pour out their heart about something that's bothering them is honestly one of the most satisfying experiences of my life thus far. It wasn't self-satisfying - I didn't really do anything. Most of the time I'd listen to girls talk about how they just broke up with their boyfriend and how they were never speaking to him again, only to find out that they were back together with the same guy a week later. But I got to listen. I go to pray. I got to give advice when they asked for it. I got to give a little bit of a different perspective if they needed it. I got to share life with those girls in a different way than anyone else on that hall for three years. The best part of it is that I know that God placed me there to glorify Him.
I say all of this to say that I try to use my blog as the same kind of platform that I used my job as an RA. Sometimes the things that I write are probably way TMI (too much information), so I do apologize for that. But I try to write about things that the Lord is teaching me, so please don't fault me for that :) And with that - here we go.
Last night I had an epiphany.
Yesterday my office gave Jason and me a wedding shower. It was beautiful in every way and we felt so loved and blessed by everyone. In addition to the wedding gifts we got at the shower, we also received a grill in the mail (that just sounds funny) yesterday as a wedding gift. I bought steaks to cook this week, so when Jason got the grill, I told him that we could save the steaks for when he got the grill put together. So the poor guy went to work.
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| A snapshot of the wedding shower that Martin gave us! |
So I decided that I would make some chicken noodle soup with the leftover chicken from earlier this week - just in case the grill wasn't finished tonight. Then we realized that we had a charcoal grill but no charcoals. So my roommate and I went to Walmart to buy charcoals. Long story short, the grill is put together, but I cooked our steak on the stove last night.
As Jason was sitting on the couch, a little frustrated and a lot hungry, I was in the kitchen still working. I kept thinking to myself that I'd worked all day, then I came home and helped him, and now I'm the one who is still up cooking him dinner - after I'd already cooked soup - and I could barely walk through my apartment without having to step over stuff. I began to get frustrated as well.
When the stove-cooked steaks were finished, I put them on a plate with some corn on the cob that I'd also cooked and took Jason's plate into the living room to give to him. As I came around the corner, I saw him sitting there on the couch, working on a video project that he's been doing and I realized something: not only has he been working all day too, he's still working just like me. But even if he wasn't still working, it wouldn't matter. I love him. He's the best friend I'll ever have and I'd do anything for him.
After dinner I was working on putting together some shelves and I went into the kitchen to get something to drink. When I walked in, Jason was putting away the clean dishes from the dishwasher and washing the dirty dinner dishes.
Before he left last night I told him the realization that I'd come to and I just wanted him to know that God is really humbling me and teaching me to show him love by serving. Jason said that while he was doing the dishes, he'd come to the same conclusion. We both laughed about it because we realize that if we didn't have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us and teaching us how to love each other well, the night could have looked a lot different. We didn't let our frustration get the best of us - instead we just made a decision to serve. As imperfect as we are as people, the grace of God has made our love for each other perfect.
This whole night reminded me of a conversation that I had with a friend from my small group back in June. She's been married for almost two years, and Jason and I really respect she and her husband's marriage. She told me that one of the things she's learned is that in marriage, you should always feel like you're doing more work - and that should bring you joy. You should constantly be trying to out-serve the other person. God has called us to serve one another in marriage, and I am so excited that God has chosen to teach Jason and I what that looks like before we're even married!
Well, enough rambling for the day. I hope that you all have fa fabulous weekend - but there's one more thing I want to leave you with on this Friday:
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." - Ephesians 5:1-2
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