Married, Morals, & Mad Men

I work in advertising.

I have a degree in journalism/mass communication, and my concentration in college was public relations and advertising.

I watch Mad Men.

I've watched Mad Men for about two years (thanks Netflix).

Source

For five seasons, I've watched Mad Men completely encompassed by the lives of fake advertising executives. I imagined that this is what life must have looked like while my parents were children. I envisioned my grandparents back then. I imagined what I would be like if I lived in that time period.

I was a fan.

Season six started three weeks ago. I've made a decision to give it up.

This isn't some sort of "I've giving it up for lent" type thing. I'm not giving it up because it distracts too many other aspects of my life, nor am I unable to function because of my fandom of this show. In fact, my decision to give up Mad Men is actually pretty easy.

So, here's the big question: Why? Why am I giving up a show that I like? Why am I giving up a show that probably won't be around much longer - why not just finish it out?

My answer: Because I got married.

Before you quit reading, hear me out on this.

Jason and I have never been the type of people who blame things on marriage. We haven't cut off all communication with the opposite sex because we got married. We don't ignore people we work with if they address us or say "hello". We didn't quit our individual relationships with God and protest that we can only pray together now that's we're married. We didn't quit hanging out with friends by ourselves because we got married. In fact, our lives are surprisingly the same externally since we got married seven months ago.

Internally, not so much.

I've noticed that over these last few months, it's been a lot harder for me to watch movies like P.S. I love You. Before I got married, I probably shed a tear or two while watching sappy movies like that, but now I literally have to turn them off. Although I don't know exactly why that is, I have an inkling that it has something to do with being able to identify with the character. Now, as a married woman, I cannot image the pain of being Hilary Swank and losing Gerard Butler because I cannot image the pain of Jessica Morales losing Jason Morales.

I think the same is true when it comes to Mad Men.

Now, this theory is not universal - there are so many cracks in it so please don't hold me to it! But the constant infidelity, the constant unrealistically realistic drama, the lack of honor and nobility - it's all just become too much for me.

I was reminded of Colossians 3:5 on Saturday at a workshop I attended at church.

"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry."

It hit me 24 hours later as I was sitting on my couch watching Don Draper cheat on his (second) wife  for the billionth time that I'm polluting my brain. If I can't bear to watch Hilary lose Gerard, how in the world am I able to sit and watch Don defile the covenant of marriage?

So many times I've just set aside immoral things in TV shows or in movies, and I'm not saying that I never will again, but for some reason I just felt sick to my stomach as I watched the third episode of season six Sunday night.

In Genesis 6, in the beginning of the story of Noah, the bible says, "The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart." 

I really just want to keep this simple and stay clear of the deep theological study of what it means that the Lord "regretted" since I firmly believe in God's Omniscience. So let's look at this practically for a second.

There came a point in time when either all, or the majority of people on the earth had a heart that contained only evil and that their thoughts and intentions were evil as well (The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil). This was something that was continuous and wasn't changing over time (continually). The Lord then regretted that He'd made man on the earth and it grieved God and broke His heart (And the Lord regretted that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart). Immediately after these two verses, the bible says that God decided to wipe out, not only the human race, but all animals and living creatures - thus we have the story of Noah. God was creating a blank canvas by preserving faithful Noah and his family and two of each animal (Genesis 6-9).

Now, I don't know about you, but I already am a wretched sinner. I deserve death each day for the person I am, but for the glorious mercy of the cross. Many times, I don't necessarily mean to sin, it just happens and when I realize it, I feel horrible. Sometimes it's uncontrollable and I just have hateful feelings toward someone or something. So, for me to sit on my couch on a Sunday night and deliberately fill my mind with images, speech, and thoughts of things that are "earthy," "immoral," "impure," "evil," and "covetous," I'm basically just setting myself up for God to look at me, shake His head, and think that I am continually sinning on purpose.  

I can control what I watch on TV, and I should. 

Do you have a "Mad Men" in your life? Do you have something that you watch, listen to, or read that you know is not true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellence, or worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8)? I urge you to contemplate what you're putting in your mind and reflect on how it's effecting your heart. 

 

A Month in the Making

I'm not really sure what the title of this post means, but it seemed appropriate. Sometimes the title just rolls from my mind, through my fingers, and onto the keyboard without making much sense.

Jason and I have been married for 4 months, 6 days, and about 45 minutes.We've experienced a lot of craziness in that amount of time. Just to give a brief overview, this is how our lives have looked over the past few months:

We thought we may be moving to a different city. We thought we might be moving to a different home in Birmingham. We thought we'd stay where we are. We really thought we might be moving to a different city. We decided to stay where we are. While we were figuring out where we were going to live, Jason changed jobs within the same company he already worked for, so now he works a full-time job and a more than part-time job as well (rather than two over-part-time jobs). We've been to six cities in four different states, not including our honeymoon. We've celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and a New Year, all in different places.

It's been crazy. 

Thanksgiving in Daytona Beach, FL (Jason's hometown)

A fun little trip to Disney World in Orlando

Christmas in Destin, FL with my family

Bringing in 2013 from our couch

We spent New Year's Day in Atlanta visiting the Coke Factory

We took a little weekend getaway to Nashville earlier in January

In the midst of all of the craziness, we've also been learning A LOT. We've been learning how to live together, how to like each other since we now live together :), how to show love to each other (even when it's hard), what our roles in marriage look like Biblically and what that means practically, how our roles within our families have changed, and how to just live life day-to-day as a married couple.

I'll be honest, it hasn't been all easy. In fact, the first three months were rough at times...not rough ALL the time, but at certain times. We've had handfuls of people tell us that the first year of marriage is the hardest. Jason asks me about once every two weeks why people say that to us so often, and my only real answer for him is because it must be true.

I will say this though...through the ups and downs, the arguments and sweet moments, the traveling and the nights at home, the craziness and the simple silences, I've learned to see God's grace so much clearer than I could before.

Since I've been a believer, I've prayed that someday my future husband (I didn't know Jason then) and I would quickly grow to be united mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Since we got married, I have gotten so frustrated because I just didn't see that happened at the beginning of our marriage and I didn't understand why God didn't want that for us.

But then, almost like it was overnight, things started to change. I honestly don't think that Jason or I have done anything to change, but God definitely opened our eyes and changed our hearts. Over the last month or so, I've began to see God's grace all over the place, or at least that's how it feels. Jason and I regularly pray that God would do something in us/in our marriage that is so insane and radical that it's evident that only He could accomplish it, and I truly believe that has happened...or is beginning to happen.

I know I've got a long way to go, and I pray that by the grace of God I'm given many many  more years to grow, but I believe that God has allowed certain opportunities and circumstances to come into our lives that have taught me about my role as a wife and how that affects every other facet of my life (my job, my family, my home, my friendships, etc.). The biggest thing that God has begun teaching me though, is that my identity and my role in this world doesn't start externally with my  marriage, it starts internally with my relationship with Him.

I guess the title to this post does make sense when I consider the past month or so. These last few weeks have been so sweet, not only as a newlywed, but as a believer. I hope that it's the foundation and the making of a life in which I am ever-growing in Him.

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On Making Plans

"Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.” 

 - Proverbs 19:20-21 -

There is so much pressure to know.

When we are in high school, we're constantly being faced with questions that beckon us to figure out what we're supposed to do with our lives. Where will you go to college? What will you major in? Where will you live? How often will you come home? What do you want to do with that degree? I remember being 17 or 18 years old and thinking to myself that if one more person asked me what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life, I was just going to scream!

But we make our decision, we graduate, get a job, go to college, or do whatever is next for us. But it's just the beginning.

We are faced DAILY with decisions, with plans, with expectations to make decisions that affect our plans. We're just expected to know.

I'm learning very quickly that I don't know. I don't know the answers and I don't know my plans. Most of the time I can tell people what my plans are for the next month or so, at least as far as what I'll be doing. I'll go to work, I'll hang out with this person or that person, I'll go to church, Jason and I may go out of town - we have plans. But the older I get (not that I'm that old) and the more I move through life, I'm learning that I don't have a plan and that I just don't know. For someone like me who is a complete "planner" and scores with the highest of "J's" on Myer's Briggs, that honestly stresses me out.

I don't know what tomorrow holds.

I don't know what I'm making for dinner tonight.

I don't know where we'll live in 6 months.

I don't know how to be the best wife.

I don't know our plans for the holidays.

I don't know when I'll get to run errands.

I don't know when or where my  husband will be working a week, a month, a year from now.

I do know that I'm learning, though. 

The Lord is teaching me to let go of my plans. He's teaching me that it's okay to not know. He molding me into the woman/wife/daughter/sister/friend who has strength to not rely on my own knowledge or plans (as comforting as that may be), but to rely solely on Him.

One of the most well known verses of scripture is Jeremiah 29:11. For years I've been hardened into thinking that it's so cliche to rely upon this passage because it's so overused, and many times taken out of context. But the truth is that it's God's word, and there's nothing cliche or overused about God's word.

These words are truth though. Proverbs tells us that man has many plans for ourselves, but that the purpose that the Lord has given our lives is the only thing that will stand. We can plan all day long, but even so, are we being obedient? Rather than planning our lives and hoping that God aligns His plans with ours, why don't we just have faith that He will make His purpose known to us? He tells us that He's got a plan. He tells us that He's got a good plan. We have a future in Him and we have hope in Him. But so many times, why isn't that enough for us?

Today, I'm relinquishing my plans and my purposes for my life. I'm leaving them in the hands of God, because His ways are better than mine and His plans are greater than mine. My life, my marriage, my job, my husband's job, my stability, my family, my friendships, my tomorrows, my everything is His.

Won't you join me in letting go today?

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